I just wanted to let everyone know I haven’t forgotten you, or this website. I have been very bad at keeping up with things, and in the meantime a number of comments have built up here. I’m just replying to them one by one now.
I also wanted to briefly post about my pulling. In all honesty, it’s been getting worse. For some reason I’ve been feeling anxious lately. By anxious I don’t mean depressed, not even sad. In fact, I’m generally happy but I have a feeling of anxiety – as if I’m nervous but I have nothing to feel nervous about. It’s this feeling which I think has led to me pulling more.
I think I’ll have to go pull-free for a week again. For some reason, setting a challenge and a date really does help me.
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My name's Penny, and I started OnTrich (a trichotillomania blog) to try and raise awareness about hair pulling, and also as a way to help me deal with my own pulling. I'm a 22 year old girl from the UK and I've been pulling for 12 years. Get in touch if you want to chat or need any help - I love meeting people here.
Hi there, I know what you mean by anxious but not in particular sad or depressed. I get the same way too with this strange feeling of apprehension almost, like I am waiting for something to happen(even though I’m not)Perhaps it is due to changes in brain activity preceding a pulling session? I am truly sorry you are having a tough time with pulling at the moment. Good luck on your pull free week.
Take care of, and be kind to yourself.
Sending you lots of strength and courage.
Bunny
Bunny Taylor´s last blog ..Searching
I’ve been pulling since I was a baby. I was tormented in school by people who were too stupid to realize I had feelings. At home, my mother tried shaming…obviously that doesn’t work. My grandfather was the only one who understood. He knew I couldn’t help it and was the only one who didn’t try to stop me. As a kid, you try to fit in and it’s really painful if you can’t. As an adult, I really can’t give a fuck if people look at me or my hair, because I want to live my life for me, not them. I’ll never wear a wig or anything, that’s like saying you’re ashamed of who you are. I tried for years in my youth to stop pulling and never could. Mainly, my problem with trich is the feeling of helplessness. I’ve been buzzing my hair since 14. It’s helpful to me because I feel like I’m taking some control, and yet I can still pull. Let’s face it, people, trichsters like us enjoy pulling. It’s relaxing and sometimes I find myself almost in a trance. It’s like some mixed-up signal is telling me that it’s pleasurable to pull, even if I think it’s dumb. But I’ve grown accustomed to trich and really don’t attempt to care anymore. It used to be such a huge part of my life and now I barely notice it. Why put yourself through so much stress for something that you can’t stop? It’s not life-threatening. Sure, it makes you feel “different”, but who the hell cares anyway? We’re a planet full of diverse people and cultures and we can be as unique as we want. Parade that goddamn bald head around and be proud. We are awesome, we are beautiful, and we know it!
Add: That is my real name. Look me up.