Sometimes I honestly do think that it could be so easy to stop pulling out my hair. Why? Because I just don’t have any urge to do it. Sometimes days could go by and I barely even think about it – until I stop to notice that I haven’t pulled at all lately.
These times don’t come up very often. I had it a couple of weeks ago when I was away with my family on a mini break. We were busy visiting places, going for walks and eating out. And in between, we were relaxing and forgetting about work. It seems as though I didn’t even think about pulling for the whole time I was away.
Yet almost as soon as I get back, I remember that it isn’t easy. When you don’t feel like pulling, there is no need to try to stop. You just don’t do it. It’s when you feel like pulling but stop yourself anyway that you really test yourself. Sometimes I manage it, but sometimes it’s just as if I get lazy with myself and don’t want to make the effort.
I know what you mean, about not pulling when you don’t feel like it that is. It really should be easy, but it isn’t.
I didn’t feel like pulling my hair for about a year and a half that I started wondering why I did in the first place. That is until the urge came back a month ago. Now I spend my time wondering why I didn’t pull for that time. Hopefully it’ll pass soon before it gets impossible to hide.
Christina – Argh yeah that explains just how irrational and weird it can be. Don’t even know why the urges go away and then come back again. Could you pinpoint something in your life that was different during that year and a half? At least, if anything, it’s shown that it is possible to stop pulling for a good chunk of time.
I know how that feels. My parents, mostly my mom, would constantly tell me to stop, and they also meant to stop completely, but I never could and I still can’t. But, I’ve only gone for about a week or two without the urge because I’ve been doing it for so long.
Lauren – Yes, don’t they think we would stop if we could?! It’s ok though, we just need to remember that they don’t really understand why we do it. Good luck with any time you do manage to go pull free!
I know what you mean, some days, it’s perfect, no pulling, and then I get stressed out and suddenly start, it’s awful! I’m supposed to go with my family out of the country for the summer as a really amazing present, but only a few months ago, I pulled out almost half the hair on my head, I’ve never done it so back- I’ve pulled all types of hair, especially eyes and eyebrows, but not so much hair on my head. It’s been SO hard, wearing a hat, covering it up, feeling miserable and depressed! But now, I almost have it all grown back- short, but still there, but now, I started pulling out hair again on my hairline! I’d love some support from someone, if they could just say you can stop! I wish luck to everyone, I want to be able to go on my summer trip!
Angie – So sorry to hear about this. But remember, you can stop. Maybe not 100% straight away, but you’ve done it before and you’ve done it again. And if you do end up pulling, remember it doesn’t define who you are. Good luck and just remember you’re not alone and you aren’t weak if you do pull.
Thanks! It’s a little better, I’m trying my hardest to stop, I’m looking at role models and strong people that I admire that are beautiful inside and out, and it’s giving me courage- it’s not like trying to be someone I’m not, it’s more of just a motivational push! Good luck to everyone! I’m excited that a lot of it’s growing back quickly, and maybe in 3 months, I wont have that bald spot anymore!
Angie – That is a great way of looking at things. Accept that the trich is just something you do but doesn’t change who you are inside. That’s great about the regrowth!
i am a boy but i can help YOU ANGIE
I am 12 years old and i started at 8. I stopped for 4 years and now it is coming back. i feel like crap because i am able to hide it but i fear that it will turn out to become even worse.. All you need to do is think about all of the people who do not like you. They will have something to make fun of you about. o not take this the wrong way but when you are older, don’t you want other people to find you sexy or good looking? Just think about that every time you get the urge. You are not alone
Hey Dylan,
thanks, that’s a really good idea! I know, it’s so hard when you stop for a long time, and then suddenly start- because when I start it’s hard to stop! But really, brilliant idea, because even though I always think “I’m stopping for myself so I don’t ruin my appearance”, it’s also brilliant to think that it’s also to not give those people that hate you something to laugh about! Thanks, I think that also, thinking of a role model helps, I never did it before, but it’s working this time- someone that looks like you or someone you admire!
That way, anytime I just have that urge to pull or mind starts saying “but that not a pretty hair” or “just four more”, then I think of that person’s hair and think- I want long hair, I will have long hair. Something like that! I wish you SO MUCH LUCK!!!! Talk to me anytime, anyone!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Angie –
That’s a lovely message
Dylan – Thanks for coming here and commenting – I really hope it doesn’t come back again properly. Just remember, if anyone does make fun, it’s just because they don’t understand you.
Dear Angie,
Your post broke my heart. You are, I must emphasize, not alone — not in any way, shape or form. I am 33 now and started to pull out my eyelashes when I was 8, then graduated to eyebrows which offset the magnitude of the impact upon my eyelashes. I do not have an explanation for the compulsion to “pull,” other than the fact that it is deeply satisfying/soothing in a way that few things are. Nevertheless, over time, I have developed a “controlled” approach to pulling that I liken to crop-rotation; it affords each eyebrow and eyelid an opportunity to recuperate and thicken. BUT, clearly this is no solution. Luckily, one thing for which I have a passion is writing, which involves both hands, obviously — each digit is occupied. When I am deeply immersed in a project — short-story, novel, etc. — something miraculous happens: I wake one morning to realize that my eyelashes and eyebrows have been restored appreciably. So, it really comes down to finding an activity with which you can actively engage BOTH hands simultaneously…and OFTEN. Reading results in recidivism, as does movie watching. I once contemplated hand-cuffing may arms behind my back for no less than three hours a day. So, stay busy — find an obsession that requires two hands. Boxing, maybe.
Best of luck!
Tom
Tom – Thanks for your great comment. I so agree that when you can occupy both hands, it helps SO much. I get so bad when I’m holding a book with one hand, or using a mouse with one hand. My other hand wanders!
Hello Tom!
. I wish I could get rid of this freaking ocd! When they just start growing and not at full length, I start getting afraid they’ll grow out thin or straight- not how they were this summer… In Israel… Ok, I sound like a freak saying it so many times! 
I just want them back so badly!! This fear is just killing me, and I know that it’s not true- they’re growing back just like they were 6 months ago, but before they get to long, I start pulling. I’m trying my best, but even when I go to sleep or anytime of the day I’m not occupied, these fears creep up on my, and I visualize them growing badly, and I have the urge to pull. It’s like my mind is trying to get me to pull though they’re growing out perfectly like they were 6 months ago. It’s not just impatience, I’m trying so hard, it’s just this damn fear!
I’m sorry for replying so long after you posted! It’s really a great idea, since I’m growing my eyelashes back like they were this summer in Israel (my mantra, I swear, it’s going to work!)
Sigh, I hope you have some suggestions!
I pray you’re doing amazing!!!!
How are you doing?! Is your method working?! I hope so!!!! I hope that I can get past this fear- I keep saying in my mind that they’re growing back like 6 months ago and I know it’s true, I can do it!
Lots of love and luck,
-Angie
I started picking my eyebrows when I was around 12 years old. I was in class and at first just liked the way it felt but it escalated from there and I’ve been doing it for a little over a decade now. I started with eyebrows and then for a short time picked the blonde hair on my legs and arms (wasn’t noticable if I picked it, just red from picking, unlike my eyebrows which are darker and much more noticeable.) I guess I grew out of the arm/leg hair picking, obviously when I started shaving my legs. If I get annoyed with picking my arms and want to stop I just shave them and then hardly touch them after that and the hair grows back in just fine. Now it is just eyebrows.
I think what causes my picking is tension (anxiety?)/boredom. The longest I went without picking was 3 weeks last year. it doesnt seem like much but it showed me that I could do it. And it looked so pretty and my face looked so different-I keep trying to stop. A week or two here and there and then I get stressed/bored and start all over again. Similar to this year: They were looking really, really good. Then I had a 20 paged law final that I wrote in a little over 13 hours (straight.) It got to the point where I didn’t bathe, eat, go to the bathroom until the damn thing was done. I think this kind of behavior is also linked to the TTM-I don’t have OCD, if thats what this behavior is, to the point of being too disruptive but I do stuff like that. It’s just an impulse to keep going, despite not drinking for hours. Once I start something I literally can not stop until it’s done and my eyebrows pay the price.
Sometimes I do it while looking into a mirror. At first I would rub my eyebrows and now I’m picking them with my nails. I have naturally nice, long fingernails and an idea I had was to just keep the one fingernail I pick with short, but I’ve yet to try it.
It’s disheartening sometimes. Especially when I do it in class-I’ve done it so long in class that I don’t care what people think but I wish I could stop. People always point out the butchered eyebrows but it’s nice to see them when they start to grow again. I like how nice they look and I try to focus on that as a motive for stopping. I’m not being whiny here, it’s just nice to know I’m not the only one (and it certainly seems like mine is mild in comparison to other stories, and for that I am grateful.)
Good luck to everyone! It’s good to share these stories. Does anyone else have a similar experience to this: tension or boredom seems to cause the picking? While I am relaxed/happyI typically don’t pick. And not to whine, again just contributing to the conversation and questioning why we pick-I’m a lucky girl in many, many ways. But since I sarted picking life has been full of anxiety and me learning to cope: deaths in the family, my little sibling had cancer twice and just finished his second round of treatment, a mother who is not quite right in the head, personal anxiety issues that I’ve overcome through simply thinking through, lonliness, bullied when I was younger-again these are not issues I dwell on and have moved on from all of that and certainly, worse could have happened. But I think the stress definitely had an impact on the picking.
Some musings:
This is going to sound awful and haughty but I’m just trying to get to the bottom of something. Is TTM related to intelligence/high IQ? The kind of people who just can’t “turn their brains off.” I’m constantly thinking about things-not over analyzations, though sometimes I do that. But social issues, books, random things. And while talking about over analyzations, do any of you who pull do this?
I use a tea tree shampoo sometimes to wash my hair. Tea tree contains natural antibiotic properties. My eyebrows were absolutely scorched one day and I was attempting to rehabilitate them and used the tea tree on them for a few seconds. I stopped pulling all day. This works a lot, I stop using it and I pick again. I’m thinking it’s just because I think it might be helping to stop the TTM and that’s it, but any thoughts?
Anon – I don’t think you’re whining at all. It’s good to try and think about why we pull. I have the same thing, if I’m bored I’ll pull, and I do have an anxiety problem as well. I don’t know if it’s related to the trich or not, but I know it does make me pull more when I’m anxious. It’s a way of dealing with the things in our life, I suppose, to teach us to learn how to relax and be happier! As for your other thoughts, I often can’t turn my brain off either. I don’t know if it’s IQ, but I do feel as if trich takes over your brain and stops your concentrating on one specific thing. I have been using tea tree shampoo too lately – it feels nice but I don’t know if it helps pulling. Generally I pull less when my hair is completely clean.
I know exactly how you feel
I have pulled my lashes since I was 8, and it’s horrible. I am 14, almost 15 now, and it feels horrible to have to wear a pound of thick black eyeliner everyday to cover up my bald lids 
I just feel so helpless knowing that I can’t stop, and that there isn’t much I can do.
RoRo – I understand why you feel helpless, but it is possible. Even if you don’t stop, I hope over time you’ll come to feel more comfortable with it. I think talking to other people who understand really does help.
I wish it were easy. I find that little to nothings helps me stop and it is making me miserable in many aspects of my life. I want so badly to find a way to stop!
Steph – So sorry to hear that you’re feeling miserable. Do you ever talk to people about it? I find even talking to people online helps me so much. It helped me feel less guilty and ashamed about it. Good luck whatever you do!
When I had AP Calculus tests in high school, I started pulling out the little hairs that had broken off, just from brushing, close to my scalp. From then on, I did it whenever I was stressed, then whenever I was bored, and by then I had to keep doing it because I ALWAYS had little hairs that needed “fixed”. I just found your blog and I think it’s great – I didn’t even realize this was a common thing until my freshman year of college when I met someone with half eyebrows and asked him why they were like that. I always thought I was just fixing my hair, that if I kept pulling eventually all the “bad hairs” would go away. I think if more people know that trich exists, they will be better able to help themselves.
I pull very rarely now (although I am starting a new semester of school, so we’ll keep fingers crossed). What helped me… I realized it was a problem, and I told my best friend and my boyfriend. They were both worried but after telling them I was much more determined to make it go away. But what helped the most was the day I actualy decided: I thought to myself, “this hair’s going to take forever to grow back. probably two years or so. but one thing is definite: it will be two years from the day I decide to stop.”
So now I’ve got a funny batch of four inch long scraggly hairs along my part line. I’m embarrassed to wear my hair down and I’m trying to find a suitable gel product that won’t look gross (any ideas?), but I know that eventually I’ll have a healthy scalp again.
Sam´s last [type] ..home sweet home away from home
Hey everyone!
Im 19 years old and I started pulling at the age of 17 when I had my school finals and I was super stressed..Then financial problems showed up in the family.I think that it was that period of my life that I did not know how to face the situations and pulling my eyebrows eased my anxiety. I pulled usually while studying,watching tv or, as you said, being bored. The only period that I stopped pulling was during vacation,when I was with my friends..In that case I was having fun and did not even think of pulling. But after coming home I started once again,going through the motions. I don’t know if it matters but my aunt has the same problem and it started the same age as well.
For now,I barely have eyebrows as my fingernails wander around my face all the time. I have tried many ways to make it stop such as putting hansaplasts and applying oil so as to make them slipperies but they didn’t have an effect.Today , after finding out this blog I realized that sharing experience and reading other’s people stories made me feeling more comfort. Some of your ideas made me putting post its all around my room to help me “remember” that i can stop it.Indeed,it helped as I counted only two times of me pulling(and believe me,that was hard for me to do).I also printed some photos of my favourite actress that has BIG black eyebrows.Seeing her,it helps me remembering my goal.
Im looking forward for the time that i will be pull free and wishing to all of you good luck!
Hi my name is nisha gadia i need some help with trich i can find a way to stop i have tried everything i have been pulling since i was 12yrs old now im 30 ! i am so depressed ! do u know how to handle urges? cause i stoped for 4 months and the urges came back so ive pulled all my hair out again ! cbt therepy dosesnt work ! do u know what else i can do please reply to me and you can email me on my above email add nis8882003@yahoo.co.ok
thank you
nisha gadia
Hello again sweet hearts! I NEED YOU HELP!!!!
If you look up above at some of my posts, you’ll see that I posed a couple months ago around June/July/August! I have to tell you all something!
I finally stopped just after writing here! And let me tell you, that it was the most beautiful, amazing feeling in the entire universe! I felt so good, so confident, and my lashes were SO long and dark and curled up and fanned out and gorgeous! I went to Israel around July, and I love it there so much- just being able to put on my Dr. Hauschka mascara (I wanted something natural only for the eyes) felt sexy and amazing and so wonderful, only the best feeling ever!
I came back here, and I didn’t have the urge to pull, I didn’t want to, my lashes were gorgeous! But then…. NOT AGAIN, DAMN IT!
I didn’t pull them out, and I speak to you with the truth from my heart! I was overusing mascara, and it was too much for my lashes, natural mascara or not, I didn’t wash it off every night! As a result, I was (bad idea, bad idea) pulling off the mascara, and a clump of my gorgeous lashes came out! I was devastated! The sight of seeing them not perfectly thick as before right in the middle of my right eye, I couldn’t help but pull out some out to try and fiz that gap- mhmm, like that helped!
A month later, all lashes gone…. I couldn’t believe it. Looking at my naked eye again made me look like some freaking alien! I felt depressed! It’s been just a few months as you know, and I’m trying to grow them back now, praying that they’ll look just as they did this summer in Israel!
Here’s my problem- I get these fears that they won’t come out looking just like they did this summer in Israel, and I start pulling them out because of that fear. It’s like an ocd! I’m scared of having them come out looking straight (when I know that it’s not the case and that they’re growing back just like they did a few months ago in the summer!). It scares me that I can’t shake this stupid fear! I know that before going to Israel in the summer, I came here and got your help! I made, and I didn’t start again, but only because of an accident- I never felt the urge to pull! I hope that someone would give me the encouragement to shake this stupid fear, to help me know they’ll grow back just like they were this summer! This stupid ocd has to go away, please help me! I’m trying my hardest, I just need only a push! I hope that I can give you all support as much as you all gave it to me! I know that together, we can all get through our separate, yet painfully similar problems!
I love you all so much! Best of luck to all,
-Angie
P.S. WOW, that was long, huh?! Eek!
Dear Angie,
Let’s make a deal. We agree, now, on the spot, to refrain from pulling — for two solid weeks — not a single eyelash. On the 27th of December, we will report back, right here. I will say, ‘yes, I have not pulled a single eyelash in two weeks.’ You will say the same. Together, we will be bold, and if successful, we will try an additional two weeks, and so on. By Spring, your lashes will be thick and lustrous; you won’t even need mascara. I begin my pledge…NOW.
Yours,
Tom
Hello sweetheart!
I pledge that I will, along with you, not pull out a single eyelash for 2 weeks! I’ll report back on the 27th of December, and then we’ll keep going! We will both have lashes thick and lustrous by Spring! No mascara needed, baby!
I begin my pledge…. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
-Angie
Hi, Angie,
My two-week pledge was a success (97.999%) and I hope yours was as well. I would like to try it again — another two weeks — and this time (for myself) throw eyebrows into the mix. I was a saint in the eyelash dept. but found myself teasing my eyebrows while thinking, deliberating, etc. No real damage — just a slight mar in the left one. So, two more weeks? Let me know and we can report back on 10 January.
Yours,
Tom
Hello Tom!!!!
I’m SO happy your pledge was a success!!!! You don’t know how excited I am!!
I hope you’re not disappointed in me, I didn’t do so good! I’m so sorry Tom, I hope you don’t mind if I renew my pledge and start a second time! I was doing great until the last week! They looked GORGEOUS! Just like you said, just like they were in the summer of this year! I want to try again! I felt so upset after I pulled them out- I started from the bottom that was almost completely grown back, and then the top, which was coming in AMAZING! After, my fear came back like crazy, and it kept nagging my mind that they’d now only grow back badly. But then, I thought of you, and I had this feeling, like this was it, this time, they’d grow back just like you said, just like in the summer of this year! I’m ready to do it again! We can do it together! I hope you’ll let me try again with you!
I’m so proud of you my sweetheart!!!! I knew you’re doing amazing!!!!
Lots of love!!
-Angie
Of course, Angie!
A New Year and a new pledge. Remember, you are in my thoughts daily. Every time I begin to probe — usually while thinking or reading or watching a movie — I consider our pledge. And it really has helped. A day at a time we will reprogram our impulses. Initially we can work on blocks of two-week intervals, charting one another’s progress. By May, we will be brand new. I run the Vermont City Marathon in May, and that is the the date by which I plan to have gotten this untamed animal broken once and for all. And remember, it is a process that may take not weeks but months or years. I have been consciously working on mitigating my impulsion for several years, and slowly but surely, there is improvement. Only very rarely do I now have to worry about my eyelashes (interestingly, I have never attacked the bottom. My weak spot is for the outer corners on top — usually int he dead of night). Eyebrows are another matter but I am working on it; am almost there. You have me. I have you.
Yours,
Tom
Hello sweet heart!
First of all, happy New Year to you and all of you wonderful people here!
I’m sorry I haven’t checked up on you in a while! It seems I never got the email reply- I must have messed something up!
I’m so happy you’re doing good! I hope that you are doing amazing now as well, how is it going?!
I tried very hard to stay on track, but eventually pulled everything out. Not an urge any longer, I assure you. It’s that nasty fear- though in my mind I know it’s not true! I’m hoping to get over it! I know I can get my eyelashes just like they were in the summer of 2010!! I’m starting fresh again now! The second I have the fear, I’m going to think of our pledge!
For me, I’m also narrowing down my thoughts to the summer- I really need 2 months to grow everything back- just get rid of the fear!
How is you’re New Years going? I hope you’re doing great! I promise to keep checking up every two weeks! I’m sorry I haven’t recently! I hope we can start from now on!
It’s the same for me now, eyebrows are a different matter!
You definitely have me as you have graciously given yourself! Lots of love and all my love and prayers!
-Angie;)
Hi Tom! And hi to everyone lovely, wonderful, amazing, and beautiful person on this blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven’t written here in a while, and haven’t heard from Tom, but I’d love to hear from anyone that would like to talk, it truly helps!
I’m doing perfectly! I’m trying my bet not to pull out, and my fear of having my eyelashes growing out looking not like my own or badly is gone! I have the slight fear still there, but it’s just a fear of a fear now- the real fear is gone!
I’m growing my eyelashes out for the second time since last year in the summer- they were perfect, and they’re growing out just like they did last year in the summer again!
I’m ready, and I know I can do this! One thing that I’ve found that I want to share is this- once you start- even just one lash that you “think” looks bad, you start pulling the rest out. One thing that’s hard is the patience, but I give you my blessings and prayers for it to work, for you all to be able to get rid of this habit. And that’s all it is, just a habit, and it’s not a bad thing. It’s something that we all will get rid of! Please, feel free to reply, and I’d love to talk to anyone who would like to stop with me!
Lots of love,
-Angie;)