I thought I would write a little about the pain involved in pulling my hair.
For those who have never heard of trichotillomania, one of their first questions might be ‘does it hurt when you pull your hair out?’. They might also silently wonder if what you are doing is a form of self-harm, and if the pain is the main reason that you do it.
Pulling My Hair Feels Good
The main point for me, and for anyone else who pulls out their hair, is that it feels good. Even if there is some pain, the main reason we do it is that it feels good. And because it feels good, this far outweighs the pain we usually feel.
For those who have been pulling their hair out for a long time, they usually have a few areas that they target more often than others. For me, it’s my crown and my parting. These areas soon almost become desensitized to any kind of pain. And since I only pull one hair out at a time, it usually doesn’t hurt at all. It can hurt, though, when I start pulling hair out from other areas of the body (which I do a lot less often).
The Pain From Not Pulling My Hair
For many people who enjoy pulling their hair out, the pain may be from not pulling it out, rather than from the physical act of pulling it. By this I mean the pain of holding back, and the pain of enduring that tingling feeling that so many of us experience.
For me, it is emotional as well as phyical. At times my head can get quite sore from pulling if I’ve been doing it a lot in one day. At other times my head will feel exactly the same sore feeling, but I won’t have been pulling. This is what leads me towards the thought that this pain may be more psychological than physical.
How does hair pulling feel to you?
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My name's Penny, and I started OnTrich (a trichotillomania blog) to try and raise awareness about hair pulling, and also as a way to help me deal with my own pulling. I'm a 23 year old girl from the UK and I've been pulling for 13 years. Get in touch if you want to chat or need any help - I love meeting people here.
It’s more of a relief thing for me, personally. When I pull around my lashes and eyebrows, it’s as though these are hairs that are /supposed/ to come out (particularly my lashes, as I have very sensitive eyes). I mentioned dermatophagia to you on Twitter, and I hadn’t realized until maybe six months ago that I do it because it’s very calming to me. If I’m under a lot of stress, the sensation isn’t so much painful as it is just a distraction from whatever’s troubling me.
Thank you for your comment. Sometimes it is a relief for me too. I will search for hairs for ages, making the tips of my fingers go numb trying to find that one hair that’s supposed to come out. The horrible thing is when that relief of pulling it is so short lived
I still don’t know why I do it sometimes. Sometimes it’s calming, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes I can be mega stressed and won’t even want to pull. It’s so confusing!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts 
your story is just like mine its crazy because i thought i was the only one who does this. every morning i have to draw on eyebrows with a eye liner because it looks like i have no haair and them im fustrated in school because when i pull the eyeliner comes off and then people see ball spots. i have those hairs that i pull that are challenges and i will spend all day in my room trying to get that hair out numb fingers and all will this ever stop
I get numb fingers too. I’m so sorry that it’s so bad for you, but it can improve. Talking to others who do it is a great first step.
For me, it’s like scratching an itch. To get rid of that tingling sensation. Just like when your skin itches from a bug bite or something, you scratch it, and it hurts, but it feels so good at the same time.
It’s like that.
That’s a good way to describe it. But sometimes it isn’t like an itch for me. I can’t really describe it – because when I think of it I do think itch is a good way of describing the force that really makes you just want to do it. Actually pulling tho never hurts me because I pull one at a time from the head. But my head is actually hurting right now as I’ve been pulling on and off today
I pull one strand at a time, too, but I still feel that slight twinge of pain when doing so….and for me, it feels satisfying. When I’m not thinking about pulling and doing so anyway, I can’t describe it, because I’m not thinking much about it until I stop myself. It’s that subconscious thing that I just can’t seem to control…but we’ve all been there, right?
Yes, I do it subconsciouly too. Sometimes I’ll notice once my head does start to hurt a little. But I think I can relate to what you are saying about a pleasant twinge of pain. It feels good.
I pull to feel the pain. I pull hair, lashes and brows and have been pulling for well over 20 years. I’m tired of it…and wish I could stop. It is getting more and more difficult to hide bald places on my scalp, now because I used to not pull from there very much.
Thanks for leaving your comment on my blog. I understnd the feeling of wanting that pain. I hope you can find some support by sharing with others. I also pull from the scalp and my hair is getting thinner. I usually find that listening to relaxing audiobooks and hypnosis does help to stop me pulling when it’s at its worst. Feel free to email me back if you want to talk any more.
i pull out my hair too and the strange thing is,just like one person posted earlier,I never realize when i start to pull,i just find myself in the middle,and each hair i pulll out,i hold against a light-like my laptop light,if the lights in my bedroom are off,and i look at the root where it was previously under the skin and the root looks so nice,sometimes coiled,sometimes with extra branches of little hairs,and after a second or two i get tired of that strand of hair and i need a new one.i’ve been doing it for years,maybe bc am a black girl the patches are not visible,but i mostly pluck the back of my head and tell people that am losing hair from bad braids if they ask.But it just doesnt hurt,it feels good as the root of the hair forcefuly breaks out from your scalp,its a great feelng-as long as you get each hair alone at a time-But the strangest thing is probaby that i can find nothing ”stressful” in my life that would lead me to it,and yet i have been doing it for as long as i can remember.
your story is so much like mines im 15 and when i was younger i brows and eyelashes were so thick and i got teased so i would try to make them thiner by using my nails as a twezzer and it felt good but i thought nothing of it. In 8th grade when i turned 13 i got my eye brows arched for the first time and i wanted them to stay then so bad because everyone complemented me and new i didnt have money to keep up and thats when i really couldn’t stop eventually i had no more hair to pull now i just stare at others hair and wish i had it or wish i could pull it now ive started finding the hairs on my fingers will this ever stop?
Hannah thank you so much for leaving your comment. I used to pull my eyebrows too – but I’m afraid I can’t offer many tips as to why I stopped. I understand the horrible feeling you get when you look at others hair. It’s good that you’ve come online and have left your comment – very brave. If you ever want more help then you can feel free to email me at any time. I don’t have answers, but I do think that talking to people who understand can really help xx
Delilah – Thank you for leaving your comment. I do the exact same thing when it comes to getting bored of a hair and wanting a new one! That’s one thing about pulling hair that’s just so frustrating!
I also get a good feeling from pulling when pulling single hairs. I’m glad that you don’t have noticeable bald patches. I do not know what kind of stress causes me to do it either. As far as I can think, I’m like you and there is no obvious cause.
Thanks again for visiting here.
Hi everyone -I’m 39 and have been pulling lashes/brows since I was six. Ugh. I pull every day to the point that I have none left.
The feeling that I get from doing this is “out of this world” actually. It is the best sensation in the world (even though it causes me sooooooo much pain later on). I hate that I don’t have these hairs and my childhood and upbringing were horrendous due to this condition (and my adult life pretty hard too -although I managed to graduate college and grad school and work a professional position and eventually get married and have a baby). But….I feel awful about myself. I hate that this physical sensation is craved so much by my body and my mind that I let it ruin every other aspect.
I pray this will stop
I understand how it feels so good. It’s horrible the way it can affect all areas of life, but I hope that you’re proud of what you’ve achieved and where you’ve got to. It’s so sad that you feel bad about yourslef. I find that it helps so much to talk and write about it online. It’s really helped me to come to terms with it so much more.
~Penny
I have done a lot of research into every thing one can imagine relating to trich, from which I have suffered, dare I say it, for over 30 years. I have only recently begun to fight hard because for years I did not pull enough and I had such thick hair, I could hide it…
Anyway, in the past 5 years it has escalated. It started with puberty and perhaps hormonal changes now are affecting my stress levels (the urge to pull is always worst around “that time of the month”)
But I digress…the pain/pleasure thing: pulling single hairs causes minute degrees of pain and as a result of the shock of that pain (which for some may be imperceptible at this point) the body sends endorphins/natural painkillers to sooth that pain. I sincerely believe that that is what we are addicted to–the body’s natural pain killers, which it sends to a very senstive part of your body (face/head). we pull because we want the calming effect associated with these endorphin fixes.
I read all of the science on this–endorphin addiction also drives the “runner’s high”. The body is put through gradual pain, just enough to engender the natural painkiller response. I am sorry I cannot remember the exact process, but research it for yourselves.
Whenever I have run and worked out regularly I pull ALOT less. I ran all through high school and college and pulled very little. When I stop exercising I pull more. Yes, it is stress relief which helps, but I am convinced it is because I am getting my endorphin fix through running rather than pulling.
Right now, I am taking NAC, which kind of helps AND doing accupuncture–laser accupuncutre especially helps raise endorphin levels when done right and I have gone for as long as month without the urge to pull after a laser accupuncture session. My “laser lady” had never heard of trich but her technique helps smokers so she just gave me more or less the same thing with a few other spots tossed in for good measure, as a calming (or endorphin raising) technique.
Unfortunately I had that done in Canada, where you can find this a lot of places…here in the Southern U.S.? Not so much. So I am going to try a conventional accupuncturist…tomorrow.
It is costing me $$$ BUT it is less than hats, wigs, and hours of fussing with hair to hide spots.
In any event research endorphins and pain response!
I only pull my eyebrows and I have been doing it for years. I am 27 now, but I saw a picture of me in first grade and it looked liek I had shaved part of one of my brows. My eye brows are very thick- so i have to pull a lot for it to be noticable. I dont do it all the time, but i have did it a lot today. after I start doing it, its like my eyebrows become itchy and i can’t stop. I think it happened a lot today becasue I was super stressed at work. It embarrassing to me me, I always wonder if someone saw me doing it after I realize what I’m doing!! Sometimes I have to coloe part of my brow in with make-up. Its very annoying, but I did notice putting a lot of lotion in my brows seems to help. It make them slippery so I can’t actually pull the hair and somewhat releaves the itch. I started documenting when I did it alot by taking pictures with my phone, just so I could keep track and maybe show my doctor if it ever gets totally out of control.
A lot of people have the issue of pulling when stressed, depressed or other things. I personally find that I do it when i’m just watching tv or searching the web. when im not at school, but just sitting down doing nothing with my hands. I have no reason to do it but for the feeling it gives me. If it was due to stress or depression i’d have taken pills along time ago and just stopped but its for how great it feels. I pull from the crown and I clip my hair over the spots so noone sees it. I dont notice how much i pull, ill look in the mirror and gasp thinking ‘wow, i didnt think i pulled that much’ ive tried many times to stop and whats so weird to me is that when i pull the only thing running through my mind is ‘OH I BET I CAN PULL MORE HAIR OUT TODAY! LETS DO IT!’ like trying to compete with myself to pull out a ton of hair and when im done it doesnt set in til about 30 mins later and i go ‘what the hell, why did i do that?’ Why arent these thoughts running through our heads while we pull. when someone tells me to stop, i seriously cant seem to put my hands down. i keep going even though they scream and yell at me. Its near impossible to stop for me.