Guest Post: MK’s Personal Trichotillomania Story

Hi, my name is MK and I’m 21 years old. I’ve had Trichotillomania since I was 5.

I can remember the exact moment I started pulling. It started late at night while watching television with my mom. I had gotten something in my eye and she was trying to help me see if it was an eyelash. She said to, “Very lightly run my fingers across my eyelash line” to see if one was poking me in the eye. I did as I was told to no avail. Later that night I started to tug on my eyelashes harder, trying to make the pain in my eye go away. By the morning I had pulled out a giant chunk of lashes from the center of my eye. This was only the beginning.

A month later my eyelashes were completely gone from both of my eyes, both top and bottom. My mother rushed me to several doctors trying to figure out what was wrong. She had thought they were falling out, when in all actuality I was pulling them all out in secret. I couldn’t tell her that it was a mixture of comfort, relaxation and relief all rolled into one when I pulled.

Eventually I moved on to pulling my eyebrows, over the next two years my mother took me to every doctor, psychologist, and therapist within 300 miles of our home. It wasn’t until I moved on to pulling my hair on my scalp that my mother lost it. While doing my hair one morning she noticed a giant bald spot on my head. By this point she had discovered that I was doing it to myself, and with many mental illnesses in my family she was very understanding up until this point. The moment she saw that bald spot I remember her threatening me, if I pulled my hair out of my head again she would spank me. At the time I was very upset, but I look back now and I’m so very thankful. I stopped pulling my hair out of my scalp that very moment and haven’t done it since.

Now I only wish she had threatened me about my eyelashes and eyebrows. I’ve been struggling with the social consequences of not having them my entire life.

I’ve tried every form of therapy for Trich. Everything from muscle therapies, to Biofeedback. The later of which I am currently trying again this summer, hoping that being older will make it easier to focus on the treatment.

I searched the internet for anyone else with the same problem only to open up a giant community of people that have suffered far worse than I have. However, I really wanted to share how far I’ve come from being made fun of my entire life for being different. I finally found the gift that is make-up. Probably a lot later than I should have, but by my junior year in high school I was drawing on my eyebrows and lining my eyes heavily in hopes of camouflaging what I was missing. Teasing aside, I managed to have a somewhat normal childhood after that.

Now that I am in college I am rarely asked about it, I’d like to think I’ve mastered the art of hiding it from acquaintances. I’ve explained it in-depth to a few of my close friends, and past boyfriends all of whom were extremely understanding. Even though I’ve been guilty of throwing my sunglasses on when it’s dark out if I’ve wiped an eyebrow off accidently in an effort to hide it.

Reading this back I really feel like I sugar-coated the pain I went through in my childhood having no eyebrows or eyelashes. I just wanted to get this story out there so anybody in my situation will know that they aren’t alone and it definitely is something that can be lived with. I struggle with Trich every single day, but somehow I am optimistic that it will get even easier to deal with as time goes on.

If anybody wants to talk about Trich or has any questions don’t hesitate to email me!

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This story was sent into me by MK – thanks so much for sharing it! If you would like to contact her, you can send her an email on maryk13[at]gmail.com or find her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Maryk13

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