This is something I have been interested to learn for a while, for obvious reasons: if I am pulling out my hair will it be ruined forever? This seems to be a common question amongst trichsters, especially those who have pulled a large area and are worried it won’t grow back (at the moment I’m only looking at hair on the head as opposed to other places).
So, I started a Great Google Adventure in my attempt to find the answers (I did firstly look up ‘trichotillomania’ in my university library but there was nothing there – no surprises):
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I signed up to the forum at Trichotillomania Support Online which I also added to my list of links. This has a whole section on the forum about hair regrowth so could be very useful.
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I also thought this was useful, about general reasons for hair loss which include trich. It shows a picture of the cycle of hair growth too. When we pull a hair out with the root attached, we are pulling it out in the middle of the cycle which will then take longer to grow back.
Growth Cycle: From what I have read there are varying experiences with hair regrowth and trichotillomania. If you have been pull-free for a few weeks and your hair has not yet grown back then you do not need to worry. The growth cycle of the hair can take time to create a fresh one (perhaps even a few months), and when it does it will grow maybe a few inches in a year at most. When the hair does grow back, however, it may not be the same as it used to be. It will usually be fine, and kinky or wavy if you normally have straight hair. This is due to the damage of the follicle, which will take a while to repair itself.
Traction Alopecia: Whilst areas that stop growing are rare, it is common to experience thinning of the hair, otherwise known as ‘traction alopecia’ according to the page I mentioned above, which can also occur due to hair appliances such as curling irons. If the pulling is stopped quickly enough then the chances are that this will eventually rectify itself over time. However, there are cases when the damage is permanent. From what I have read, it seems the case that each individual experiences this in different ways. Some have been pulling for decades and experiences normal regrowth, while others’ hair is thinned after only a short period. According to the eMedicine entry for traction alopecia, ’sufficient levels of iron and protein in the diet may help promote normal hair growth’.
My Experience: As I have said before, I used to have a large bald patch when I was younger but now I don’t pull as much it is usually just a small amount of stubble on the top of my head around my crown. The patch grew back ok. It was curly for a while, but now it is completely blended in with the rest of the hair. I still feel, though, that my hair is not as nice as it could be. If I let it dry naturally it usually just goes frizzy, and I usually straighten it to make it shinier. I always wonder if I have just damaged my hair so much that it with either never be the same, or will take years of not pulling to rectify. Some of the forums I have read in the past have suggested that time is the only way for your hair to repair itself, and this may be a matter of years.
I’m afraid that I’m unable to provide any definitive answers, but have a read of the forum that I suggested to see individuals’ stories. For the moment I should be revising, which, as you might gather from my last post, I’m not doing very well at!
Looks like you don’t have the entrecard widget because by default any free wordpress blog cannot show up javascript. Sorry, I couldn’t drop on you but left a comment to let u know I was here.
Same as the first commenter. I want to drop my entrecard, but since you do not have the widget…….I guess I will leave a comment.
Isn’t there somesort of medication that you can take in order to keep you from pulling out your hair voluntarily?
Science has revealed that people who have Trichotillomania always suffer from traction alopecia in some form or another due to the damage that they inflict on their follicles.
hi,nice web site,im like it!!
thanks for sharing info.good for me.
more about hair restoration here:
http://hair-restoration-for-women.blogspot.com
I pulled my hair for over 30 years. Now I am 47. Have stopped pulling for 1 year now. My hair has gradually grown back especially on the crown and the front. However, it is taking more time on the right of the head. Keeping my fingers crossed.
I am 15 I have always thought I was the odd-ball out because for some reason I would pull out my hair, and even eat the bulb on it, it is something that I am greatly ashamed to admit and I always wear my hair up even though I used to have “great curly hair”, I usually just say that I don’t feel like wearing it down but in reality I don’t want people to know about my depression, I used to struggle with my weight and apperance and for some reason pulling my hair out relieved this stress, I finally searched online to see if I could find out if others had this problem , and who knew it , I found out that IT IS ACTUALLY A DISORDER AND I’M NOT ALONE! this made me so happy I cried, i’m so addicted I don’t even notice when I do it anymore , but this site is giving me the inspiration to stop picking my hair and recover. thank you more than you will ever know.
I’ve been pulling out my hair for about 3- 4 years now. This is the first time that i’ve ever talked about it. Its nice to know that I am not the only one. I pulled out some of the top, sides, front. It has got to the point where I always wear my hair up, cut my own hair. I am too embarrssed to go to a hair salon and get it cut. I wear hats often. I am trying to stop but its really hard. It will grow back right? I feel like i may have ruined my hair forever.
Good article, I was wondering how long to it was going to take for my hair to look normal again. I just wanted to give some hope to everyone, you can stop pulling. I have been pull free for 3 days now! : ) I am so happy, I just hope i can keep this up. I started a new hobby, crocheting. It has helped me so much, when I feel the urge I just pick up my crochet needle and some yarn, and it takes my mid off pulling. I just completely forget i was having the urge to pull. It also has helped with my smoking habit. I am smoking less now. Good luck to you all.
Its been a week now for me without pulling now and i think the best thing to do is picture yourself as a non puller. I’m just trying to be aware of my triggers, i think if you notice when you do it the most it makes it easier to stop.
Hair growth is not the same for all. I think it differs from person to person. It is up to us to keep it healthy and growing by following a good diet plan and leading a stress free life.
-Mini
Hair growth differs from person to person, and depends on age and genetic factors. A well balanced diet and a good exercise can help you keep the hair healthy.
I wish recovery to all those who suffer from this. I have other issues but can relate to the same obsessions and pain you feel at times. Don’t give up.
i’ve been pulling my hair for 2 years now. and i really hate the fact that my hair gets really thin cus i used to have thick hair. But i wonder whether will it still grow back
i really really hope it will.
Hi Anne,
Your hair should grow back. It almost always does. I have had bald patches before and my hair grew back fine. Though it is kind of thin like yours because I haven’t stopped pulling yet. I hope that can give you some comfort.
~Penny
I have been a puller since I was 6 years old. I’m now 23. I used to just pull my eyelashes and eyebrows and now I recently started pulling my hair. I have a quarter sized bald spot on the very top of my head and my bangs cover the 2 inch spot in the front. It seems like some parts grow back with stubble and the others have nothing for weeks and weeks. The spot on my head has nothing but a few peach fuzz hairs here and there. Will it grow back? What else do people do to control the urges? I’ve been fighting this for too long. It’s time to stop. Thanks.
i hate this disorder truly im 16 i want my life back i pull my eyelashes and eyebrows dont wanna see my family to ashamed, its the point where if i try to stop for a few days if i relapse in one session i pull each everyone out each time im kinda using my eyelashes as a shield to keep me from my eyebrows because people see u they see your eyebrows not necessarily your eyelashes but usually this results to me pulling my eyebrows lord give me the serenity to fight this horrible addicting momma dont understand so im basically alone i got skin problems weight problems im just a wreck
I FELL YOU.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOING THRU.
IM GOING THRU THE EXACT SAME THING.
except im 13.
and going into 8th grade this yeari have the same problems you do.
good luck
Kaylee- Good luck to you too! Come back here to chat if you ever need to.
i’m 16 and i’ve been pulling my hair for about a year and a half and even bitting off the little bulb at the end. I’ve tried to stop but its extremely hard to stop touching my hair. And now i have a few bald spots and “fly away” hair. Sometimes i just want to shave my head and start all over but i can’t. can my hair grow back? I feel my hair is ruined for life. :/
I started pulling my hair less than a year ago, I am now in 8th grade, 14 years old. It started after I got it cut more than 12″. Since then, it has become very thin, even my friends at school have noticed the thinning of my hair, making me feel ashamed. Even though I pull my hair out, specifically thick pieces with bulbs at the end of them, I am trying so hard to stop. My older sister has even noticed me pulling my hair out! I also wear my hair up almost everyday since it looks really thin down. However, on the positive side, this website has helped me significantly, and I still have quite a bit of hair left, although it is not as thick as it used to be, especially on my left side; it is sad.
I will be cutting it soon and getting a new hairstyle, hopefully that will stop my urge to pull!
As an additional note to those you try to stop, I suggest keeping a journal of when you pull so that you become more aware of the times you do, it helps. Also, perhaps putting an arm weight around your arm(s) to avoid pulling will help. If these still do not help, perhaps a mental image of you in a gorgeous new head of hair, or in someone else’s beautiful hair might help.
Thank you to everyone who has submitted their stories, I am going to try to be a hair-free puller!
Tanya – I understand how hard it is when people notice at school. I used to wear mine up every day for years too. I don’t know about you, but wearing it up does help me to pull less. Keeping a journal sounds like a really good idea – good luck with everything!
I am 28 and I have been pulling my hair for over 15 years. I don’t have visible bald patches but I do it at work and home without even noticing now. I do it for hours each day. I want to stop. It’s a frustrating habit and I don’t understand why I do it. I have very strong will power in all other areas of my life but I can’t stop pulling hair.
I understand how you’re all feeling. Good luck with stopping.
Thank you for your luck – I understand what you say about “I have very strong will power in all other areas of my life but I can’t stop pulling hair” – it’s important to remember that trich doesn’t make you weak at all.
I’m 16 and have been a puller for around a year. Have a bald patch on the crown that’s starting to stuble I just wondered what the average growth for hair was?
Milly – Your hair generally grows at about half an inch a month, even if it’s been pulled out. Good luck!
Hi im 14 and i’ve been pulling my hair since last year. I stopped pulling it in
August and it grew back really fast, but i started pulling it again recently. I was really worried I wouldn’t be able to stop anymore but I just stopped last week and I am hopefull that it will grow back. It’s already been a week and its already growing ut I am worried I will start again, but I am trying very hard not to and so far it’s been easy I just hope I am able to keep it up and I also hope it will grow longer by this summer.
Josie – Well done for stopping! I know it’s worrying to think about starting again, but if you do just remember how well you did to stop this time. Also, your hair will always grow back, it’s strong like that
Thanks for sharing your story here and good luck growing long hair for the summer!
I am 16 years old and I can’t even remember the first time I started pulling. It had to have been around 10-12 years ago. My hair is much thinner on the top and if parted in the middle, it is very visible that I have Trich. For years I have been struggling with self-image issues and now I feel that my hair is what is making me insecure. My pulling comes in waves, usually months apart and each time my hair gets thinner without a chance to fully gorw back. I am afraid to go swimming because my hair is so thin when wet, and I haven’t been to the hair dresser in over a year and a half because I am too afraid. This article really gave me hope that if I am able to stop pulling, my hair will grow back and I won’t have to cry anymore. I am so deeply ashamed of my disorder that nobody knows about it, therfore making it harder for me to stop pulling, but I will not stop trying to find ways to become pull free.
Danielle – I am so glad this article helped you in some way, please come again here if you ever need to talk. And you’re right, your hair is strong and *will* grow back when it gets the chance.
I really like yOur Websiitee. I have curly hair and I cut and I am waiting for it to grow back…how long do you think it will take to grow back ?
Diamond – Sorry I didn’t reply sooner. Everyone’s hair is different. Since yours is curly, the length isn’t going to show as obviously. Hair generally grows at half an inch a month but this will probably *look* like less for you. Sorry I can’t help much more!
Hi my name is marissa ihave the same problem ive been pullen my hair for 6years but there only two places i pull the sides of my head. I shaved all my hair off to start over it helped but istarted pulling again but the onlything ihave to keep me from pullen is to stay busy or think how gud it would feel to wear my real hair instead of wearing wigs.
Marissa – Good luck with your journey, keep thinking about your goals and I am sure you can do it
hello i am 13 and i pull a little on the middle part of my head. i havent pulled that much since january and it is only an inch long and fuzzy. how long will it take???
Tal – Our hair grows at about half an inch each month. Try really hard not to pull when it’s growing out, it can be tempting because of that fuzzy feeling, but the good news is it will grow back if you give it a chance
i am like really scared….my hair used to be long past my back and it still is but i have been pulling my hair out out for about going on 2years and im now 15..i can;t stop no matter what i do and i’ve been sent away to a group home by my mom because she’s a psychotherapists and she thinks that i have a problem…i just want to stop that’s all and i can’t someone please help me.=( i’m sooo scared.
i thought i was alone as well and i didnt know so many people had this hair pulling disease like me. ive been pulling for about half a year but ive stopped for about a month after i saw i had a bald spot on the right side of my head. i think it took me to see results to fight the urge of pulling. but now that i have stopped, when will my hair grow back? i want to go back to not wearing hats every single day just to hide it.
Shaun – So sorry that I took so long to reply to your comment. You’re right, hair pulling is SO much more common than most of even realise, probably because we’re quite secretive about it. Well done for being able to stop! That is great news in itself. I bet you’ve already seen quite a bit of growth by now, but even if not it’s ok because hair has a cycle so sometimes it can take a little while. But within a few months it should be growing again well (depends on how long the rest of your hair is). It might be a bit curly, though, at first – that’s what hapened to mine then it went back to normal a little while later.
this is the first time i m sharing my feelings with others.by 1-2 years i m pulling my hair n i m very ashamed of this.i feel very embarrased when i go to school.children started making joke of me bcoz i have very strange hair.sometimes i cry that y people cannot understand that this is an disorder but when i see my old photographs i get very emotional that y i cant stop myself to pull my hair in the photos i m very beautiful………..that’s it thanks for this website……. now i m very relaxed to share my feeling with others……….
Rashmi – I got people making jokes of me too at school, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’m so glad that my website has helped you to open up. Even if you find you can’t tell all of your friends about it, you will probably feel a huge weight lifted off if you can tell just one, or even talk to people on the internet. Good luck, and I am always here if you need to talk more.
I have been a hair puller since I was about 8 years old.I am now 43 and stiil pulling.I have had periods in my life where I have been pull free but the last long time feels like a long time ago.I have recently been through a relationship breakdown and have moved house.I go into like a trance where I dont even realise I am doing it until I look and see the damage I have done.Until a few years ago I didnt realise how many people were affected by this disorder.I have tried several things and am going to try some of the suggestions that other people have tried I just have to catch myself and my triggers a little more.
Monica – It’s true, so many of us are affected but just don’t realise. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. And keep trying – remember you have stopped before and you can stop again
I’m 18, i have beautiful red hair however i have been pulling out my head hair since i was 7. It’s gotten so bad that I have a fist size bald spot on the top of my head. I have to part my hair on the size for this very reason. I have started wearing beanies & hair bows to stop myself and its actually working. The only time i pull now is when i don’t have a beanie on now.
I most definitely recommend wearing hats or something. It really helps – if you want it to.
Red – I’m so glad those methods are working for you. Thanks so much for coming here and sharing your tip about how to stop. I hope it carries on
Please help! im 14 and a while ago i started absentmindedly plucking at the hairs in a small triangle on my hair line. I have read through all the comments but i dont think anyone else has done quite the same. when the stubble started growing back, it got annoying and so i pulled every tiny hair out that was trying to grow back. I think the problem was that it was right on my hair line and so i could get at it easily. I am so embarrassed now, when my parents saw it, they acted really disgusted by me and i felt so horrible. At the moment there are a few short, whispy hairs growing back but really slowly, and not anywhere near the amount that was there before. I feel that by doing this i have completely ruined my self confidence, i hate having my hair up which we have to have for P.E because i know it is sooo obvious. although im glad i found this website, im still not sure my hair will ever be how it was because i have pulled it out so many times. is there anything i can perhaps put on my hair that will speed up the growth????
thanks x
Connie – I think many of us have a specific way we pull, we pull in a specific place over and over. Of course, doing it over and over does affect the way the hair grows back. And when it’s short, it’s even more tempting to pull it again. Just about everything I read says that hair DOES grow back, but it can take longer. When we pull it out we do “age” it by breaking it’s natural cycle, so it might be a little different. But even if it is whispy or wiry at first, as it grows longer it gets more normal again. Unfortunately I also pull out the short hairs. Just try not to worry – sometimes we can’t stop pulling no matter how hard we try but eventually our hair does grow back.
I have been pulling my hair for over 10 years. I am 18 years old. I always thought I was weird. I only do it in certain spots, and it’s pretty obvious. And I make up excuses for why it’s like that or why there is hair all over the place, hidden in spots. I have seen Doctors for it and nothing works and I really want my old hair back. I want it to grow back so much. I try to stop but I can’t help it. I’m working with a psychologist to get through it but it’s difficult. I really hate that I do it, after these ten years I have just had enough. I really do hope it grows back eventually, but for now I just hope I can stop pulling.
Thanks everyone for sharing their stories it has helped me great deal. Peace
Mad – Good luck with the psychologist. Even if it doesn’t cure the pulling I’m sure it still helps. I’m glad that you found the website helpful
about regrowth–
i have had trich for 7 years i am now 22. in 2007 i stopped pulling and was pull free for about 18 months to 2 years and the regrowth was amazing!!! i could finally wear my hair down and now you cant tell hair from hair which i had pulled and which i hadnt. i am prayin i can get over the relapse i have had at the beginning of this year im gutted im now back to square one
and have to start again. but ive done it once and know i can do it again.
Ally – Thanks for sharing your info about regrowth, that will help a lot of us to feel better about the pulling. But good luck going pull free again.
I am SO encouraged by this website. THANK YOU SO MUCH mspenneylane for your positive attitude. Unlike most of you on this site…I am much older than any of you.
I am 72 years old. I have been doing ‘hair pulling’ off and on for over 40 years. Thank heavens I was never ‘consistant’… One is usually made to feel discouraged about being older when reading “Well, you can’t expect much anymore”…but I think its a CHOICE as to whether or not we buy into that.
I wish there WERE a ‘natural’ product to help hair grow back faster…but there doesn’t really seem to be.
I am healthy and vital otherwise… so thank you for helping me to restore my temporary loss of faith in the false belief that “your hair will never grow back again”… Basically, if that WERE true… I’d be pretty much bald by now! … My hair is thin and I don’t like my scalp showing through….but I can deal with it. Since my hair is now white (I stopped dying it, spraying it, using Toppek, etc over a year ago)…and discovered something wonderful!! Instead of paying almost $25 for a small bottle of Toppek…I use scent free baby talcom powder (the cornstarch variety) …:) I make it work just fine! I guess that is one advantage of ‘going gray — or white’ …
.-= Betty Wilson´s last blog ..The Arizona mess…The Earth…Politics and Personal Beliefs =-.
Betty – You are welcome, I’m really glad that it can help people even in a small way. I love your tip with the talcom powder too – thanks so much for coming here and sharing your story
I am 14 and i have been pulling my hair out for two years now. Sometimes i find my hand in my hair, and i do not know how it got there, it seems to come natrually. I used to have a bald patch on one side of my head and it grew back, but now i have moved to the other side. It seems to bring down my self esteem and confidence. I know the hair is growing back, but it is very short, and i have to pin it down everyday or else it will stick up and i worry people will notice. I really hope i can stop and feel like a normal person again. It is really good to no that i am not the only person with this, but i had no idea that it was classified with a disorder and that makes me want to stop even more.
p.s. i have found that massaging your scalp helps the regrowth of the hair. Good luck with stopping
Chelsea – Thanks for leaving your comment. I did the same thing with my hair when it was growing back from a bald patch. I don’t know why but my pulling got less so I don’t have huge bald patches any more. Good luck – just remember, whether you pull or not doesn’t change who you are as a person!
I am 23 years old ive been pulling my hair for 5 years……. I really am trying to stop today was my first day looking up anything about it i knew it had to do with something about stress because my stress levels has been up…. but today i am gonna try my best to improve my life and stop this i had beautiful hair before this happen. I pray that all this will end and i put my strengh in God. and pray for all of you all that is doin the same thing……..God Bless yall I love you but God loves you……
Tya – Thanks so much for leaving your positive message. I really hope things are going well for you.
I am 19 and i have been pulling since age 9. I don’t have just one bald spot though…I have always pulled all of my hair out and I look almost bald
Recently I stopped pulling though, and I have been pull free for 130 days! My hair is defnitely growing back, although it is definitely a different texture than it used to be. Good luck to all of you and let’s all pray that we can overcome this!!!!!
Ashley – Wow that is such a great achievement! I’m so glad to hear it’s growing back. And even if it’s a different texture now, it doesn’t mean it will stay like that. It just takes a while to get back to normal.
hi, i’m so glad i found a website like this with an author who replies. just so you know, i’m a guy. i haven’t been always pulling out my hair. when i was small, i used to play with my mom’s hair all the time, and now i’m 15 and now i’ve grown out my hair long. another reason i suspect that i pull out my hair because when i was small, my dad played around with my hair (he also plays around with his own hair as well) the problem is that i play with my hair now, as in curl around my finger, but i unintentionally pull them out by accident. i’ve noticed that i have a lot of bald spots for the last couple of years, but i’ve basically been playing around with hair my entire life.
these days i don’t really pull my hair, but i suspect that i may be playing with my hair when i sleep, i don’t know why. my individual hair are thick, but my head itself is thin of hair. i can see the progress because i see the “kinky” hair that you talk about because i can see them ontop of my forehead where my hair starts? i don’t really have a question, i just never talked to anyone about this because i’m obviously embarrassed. i just want to say thank you for posting this and thanks to everyone who posted a story because they really gave me hope. maybe i’ll take to the doctor about it or something along the lines of that. again, thanks for all the inspiration everyone~
L – Thank you too for posting here! It helps so much to read about other people’s stories and get some form of support, because it is something many of us are embarrassed by.
Thank god for articles such as these. I’m 22 and have been pulling my hair (scalp hair) out by twirling it around a finger and pulling it one strand at a time.. no bald spots but my hair is thin and i have self-esteem issues because of it.. I didn’t even know it was a medical condition, or similar to OCD! I thought it was just a bad habit, and everyone kinda made me feel weak for not being able to simply stop… but it’s almost a physical pain or something when you don’t do it, there’s so much pressure to pull, and then a relief/ satisfaction when you do it.. definately worse for me in times of boredom/ sickness/ stress but happens all day really… my fiance hates it! anywho, really glad to know i’m not alone, and can concentrate on fixing this..
i had my hair short (deliberately) for years purely to stop me pulling on it- physically too short to wrap around my finger. but i’m a girl, i want long hair! so i’ve been waiting painfully for it to grow long enough to tie back- still not long enough, but i’ve found if i use products such as gel or wax, or clip my hair back it becomes physically much harder to pull out.
so try fixing your hair in a style using bobby pins and hair clips to make it physically impossible for you to pull out the hair because you can’t grab it!
Anotherllama – Oh yeah everyone made me feel kind of weak like that too. Thanks for your tips on how to reduce the pulling – I can definitely see how that would help.
I am 12 years old and I have been pulling for around 8 years. Like many of the commenters have said, my pulling comes wave like patterns. It will go away or greatly decrease for up to 4 months, but then it will come back again, often much worse. Last fall my hair was doing great, and I was really proud of myself. Then one day I was reading and I pulled out a few hairs. I haven’t really been able to stop since. I have a bald spot on my head that is around the size of a dinner plate. It is so embarrassing. Yesterday my dad made me got get a haircut. It could be called a buzzcut if one felt so inclined. I really hate it and it made me really self concious. I have been wearing bandannas and I was so relieved when school got out. everyone was bugging me about them. I feel really restricted because of what Trichotillomania has done to me. I can’t go swimming whenever I feel like. I can’t let my friends braid my hair at sleepovers. Pulling has really dominated my life for a long time. When I was little, my hair was my nicest feature. It was long, very thick and a lovely dark auburn color. I feel angry at myself and very ashamed. It is nice to know there are other people in the world who are dealing with the same kinds of problems, and know what it is like. Thank you for making this site mspennylane, and my thanks goes out to everyone else who has shared their stories. Good Luck to all of you. If anyone has any tips for keeping destructive hands busy, I would really apreciate them.
Holly – I understand how it can really control many aspects of your life. But I hope that knowing it’s more common than we think can make you realise you have no reason to be ashamed. It’s just as common as other things, like nail biting, except people just don’t know much about it! My advice is to just always keep your hands occupied – hold the book with two hands, force yourself. Reading is when I tend to do it too, but i always have to consciously make myself hold it with both hands.
Hi,
I’m 42YO. I’ve been pulling my hair for a long time. I don’t know about 15 years. I used to pull my hair at the top, kinda to the back of the top of my head. That has always been a favorite spot for me. In the past, I would stop and it would grow back really fast. It was weird b/c I would get hair cut and my bald spot area where I would pull my hair looked like an upside down volcano. the rest of my hair looked really trim and shorter.
Now, that bald spot doesn’t keep up with the rest of my hair. It seems to have stayed bald although I have been avoiding pulling on that area for about 3 mos. I read somewhere you should give it 6 mos to a year. I’m also applying aloe vera gel, which is good for burns, b/c I heard it help.
As a guy, my family is not prone to baldness and I have pretty thick hair all around.There are some sprouts up there but it is thin so maybe there is hope.
Finally, I do admit to pull white hairs with a tweezer and in front of the bathroom mirror that are becoming numerous as I age. Doesn’t get any easier, does it?
Joey – That is my favourite spot too. Yeah in my experience hair can take a while to grow back, the reason being taht we pulled it out in the middle of its natural cycle. Interesting about the aloe vera gel!
its two months that i have stoped pulling my hair but some of the hair are growing fast but some are slowly and eaven very slowly growing…i give massage every day to my hair is it usefull ore it does not work???between my hair that are growing is bold…will all my hair come back to me or not???please some one answer me…….
Sou – When you pull it, it’s not natural for the hair to die at that point, which is why it can take longer than normal to grow back. You have to wait for the hair to go through it’s cycle. You could also try taking hair and nail vitamins.
Hi. I also feel great that others share the same problem as me and im not a COMPLETE wierdo
I have pulled my hair out for a while, since i was 15 and now im 18. I used to pull out hair from all over my head but now its only ever at the back of my head. I have found though that the hair at the front of my hair isnt growing back and its been about 2 years…i really dont think its going to grow back and i have basically lost hope of it ever growing back.
Is there any ways of at least filling in the bald batches with fake hair or something?
thanks
Evan – No you’re not a weirdo at all
There are ways of using fake hair. You can get a hair weave. I think there are salons setup that do this for people suffering all different kinds of hair loss (but I don’t know much about it).
I’ve been pulling my hair for 15 years. I’m 28 now. What makes me worried is that I might have permanently damaged my hair follicles in some areas, because I’ve stopped pulling my hair in those areas for almost 2 years, but until now it’s only growing thin flyaway hair (peach fuzz). It’s embarrassing for me to get my hair cut because the hairdresser always make comments about how thin my hair is. I can’t change the parting of my hair no matter what (because it’s the only way to cover my bald spots) and the parting is now also getting thinner. And my boyfriend is curious because i won’t let him touch my hair. What should I do?
Rae – I think it can permanently affect the hair, I don’t know if it can recover but I know sometimes it does take a long time. As for your hairdresser, I think you should get a new one! I understand how hard it is though, I did have a hairdresser who seemed to be helpful when I had bald patches (when I was very young) so at least they are out there. I also do think you should seriously consider telling your boyfriend about it. I told mine and I am SO glad I did.
Hi.. I’ve got a problem about kinky hair at the back of my head. My hair developed a pubiclike appearance, but I usually have curly and straight.
Anyway, now I always pull them and the new hair growth is still kinky and coily.
Should I pull them off or let it grow?
I think I should take some vitamins like MSM , Bioton … Do they help?
Thank you.
AsianGuy58 – I have the problem too. The new short hairs are always kinky and thick. It’s so tempting to pull them but try hard not too! Eventually they do get a bit more normal when they grow out longer again. And yes I think vitamins help, but only because they make your hair as healthy as possible, not necessarily because they make it grow extremely fast.
i have suffered from trich for going on 10 years, and haven’t told a soul. The effects of it are pretty bad and i can’t ever wear my hair down. I am desperate to end this problem, and to be able to be free from the anxiety of hiding it, and i know i need help, but i am scared to ask or tell anyone. I want to tell my boyfriend, but i’m afraid it will change how he feels about me. I am afraid of how my family and friends will react. How has everyone else told their friends/family about the problem? I’ve been so afraid that telling anyone will make me look like a freak to them
I just hope i get the courage to do something soon before i make it any worse!
same problem..but I only told my parents. boyfriend..it’s abit hard to tell. yeah rite,guys nowadays.
Good luck on yours.
Same goes to me. Im now 17. and you know it is embarassing..as I am a girl. A teacher started pulling my hair when I was 7. It stopped..but it started back when I was about 10. my hair do grow..but at the same time there’s red spots revealing on my scalp which will cause itch and makes me wanna pull it again.. and also at the same time..my scalp will appear to be oily.
( and how long it takes for it to grow back..?
I tried many shampoo products..which I thought it would help to lose the itch..any remedy?
Try scalpcin it helps cool the itch. I use it when I get the urge to pull because of an itch
how is it if there are red spots appearing?
I have pulled my scalp hair since I was 7 years old.
It has been a lifelong battle. An embarassing and tormenting one at that. I am 33 now. I have not pulled in almost a year… Whoo Hoo… but am now faced with a new and sad reality! MOST of my hair has grown back and is so beautiful… but the very top of my head about the size of a tangerine has no hair. I still wear a wig… sometimes 24 hours a day depending on the situation… (which by the way… was how I stopped pulling) I just didn’t allow myself access to my real hair anymore. I also kept my head fully shaved. I would rather suffer with the fact that wearing a wig is hot and uncomfortable rather than continue to pull… and it is the ONLY thing that worked for me. I still play with my wig hair, but I don’t pull it out because it doesn’t achieve whatever it is that I am looking for.
Anyhow, I got into a habit where I never really looked at mirror without a hat or wig on, because it was just SO depressing. Now that I have stopped, every day I look to see growth… and it’s not. It has been over 7 months since my hair started to fill in on the rest of my head. I try so hard to not get discouraged, but seriously… I’m not sure how I can handle finally overcoming this life battle, and still having to deal with the reprecussions from it. All I have ever wanted was to be somewhat “normal”. Ya know… dive into a pool, stick my head out of a car window, go on a rollercoaster or even have my boyfriend play with my hair.
Has anyone else had the same experience? Does anyone have any suggestions? I look forward to some feedback from someone, anyone who can relate.
So glad I came across this site. I’m 20 and have been pulling for about 8 years. I swear I’m not on here just to advertise anything, I do not work for this company, but I use this product called Toppik and it’s literally saved my life. The only thing is that you can’t go swimming in it, and if you leave it in overnight it’ll look really gross the next day. But it’s allowed me to cover up the bald spots and I can style my hair over them and no one has ever noticed. Again I swear I don’t work for this company but you guys should at least look into it. You can buy it on Amazon or other sites. If you have large bald spots it’s not going to make it look perfect to any degree, but you can at least change the color and make it look like the same color as your real hair and therefore less noticeable. I totally swear by it and I would never be able to wear my hair down without it. My mom bought it for me years ago and I haven’t gone a day without it.
I wish you all the best of luck with your pulling. This is such an embarrassing condition to have and I know the pain you are all going through, I go through it every day too. Just remember that the thickness of your hair will never be a factor in what makes you beautiful. And don’t ever give up, because we all have the strength within us to stop. I wish you all the best of luck and don’t ever give up!
Hi All Trichsters
I’ve been collecting information and personal experience for over 50 years with other complications and forms of OCD. I have read almost all posts and threads in this site and want to reply to so many to impart some of what I know. I am not a “professional doctor for Trichsters” but then again we all know we are shunned by most in the medical field.
One poster [Hanna] has touched me deep down, so this I want to start with. Sweetie, you belong because we all belong. Do not use words of fat, or ugly, slipping away – giving up etc because these words don’t belong in any vocab. People are just that … people who are not perfect. We are perfect in our imperfectness as all man was designed.
I can’t address the masses separately, and wish I could, but please scan the below to find your area of concern or answer from my experiences.
1. The mothers asking how to deal with this: Above all else, do not make your child feel alienated but also do not make it into a mountain. If your child sneezed or blew their nose, you wouldn’t pause for a second thought. This IS NOT different. It is a part of life just the same. This will only cause the processes for your child to become worse if you make them feel differently. I suggest: A) Show them this website even if you are scared of what they might read. Remember, this is your child that suffers and you do not and can not decipher or process the information the same way he/she can as a sufferer. B) Give the child access to read alone. C) After a limited amount of time on the site [half hour/hour], tell your child with making eye contact, you love them [nothing more and nothing less and try hard not to show tears as this will impart feelings not needed or helpful] D) Then tell them if they read anything that might make sense to them, you are ALWAYS going to be there if they want to talk about ANYTHING E) If they do talk, just listen! Don’t ask questions they can’t and shouldn’t answer today, maybe tomorrow but maybe some day down the road. Open doors, don’t shut them. Your love is enough and mom didn’t “do” something wrong to cause this in the uterus. F) If they ever come to talk, tell them you don’t know the answers but if they want local help from doctors or any source, you will do your best for your local area, Internet and books.
2. This is OCD. Face it and admit it realizing most likely 92% or more of the population worldwide has one or more forms of an OCD type set. Embracing is not a smart thing to do. Why? Because with this type of OCD, like many other types of OCD, the sufferer isn’t happy after the act. Getting a false sense of satisfaction during the act is the complete opposite. It always leaves side effects such as low self esteem, physical changes in appearance for serious suffers, diminished hope and feeling abnormal. When you can realize you are not alone and admit this is something you really don’t want, the internal healing, and brain can be reprogrammed. We all have the power without medicines, which there isn’t that aren’t experiments or dangerous. Doctors will learn from us by trial and error unless we have those doctors who also suffer and willing to admit it and bring this to the forefront. But how many years has this existed and gone without notice? We all have the power to do this since we understand more than any possible doctor without being a sufferer could. Embracing this aliment should only be to a child from their parent in perfect balance.
3. Perfect balance: Two negatives will equal a positive if you know how to “start” to balance the brain. The math would look like this: -pulling hair x -self esteem = + being free from affliction. Hard to explain without other examples of OCD and how they are viewed. If I said, picking flowers weekly, do you think this is so bad to be a negative? If I said playing with change [coins] in your pocket? The answer is most likely no, it isn’t a negative. But if I said a food diet, picking your nose, Pica? Your answer would most likely be yes. The correct answer is all are or can be forms of OCD by the very nature of OCD. Ask yourself which ones could be embraced and which ones might lead to lowered self esteem or a negative. All OCD forms are a negative. Only our perception differs. Maybe the point is made why we need to look at this affliction as a negative and realize it is not a positive we are happy about just as someone who wants or needs to go on a diet that is over weight. Why do most diets fail? It is the personal way we look at ourselves and feel helpless and knowing how other people would perceive our affliction. A few days, weeks, or even years we can be “good” only for a “relapse”. Same as excess food for the over weight person. This continues in a vicious cycle we feel we can’t control or have power over. Meanwhile we feel subordinate to the so called class of normal people, which keeps the cycle going.
4. Triggers: Knowing your triggers is only as important if you put in rules. It is like raising children. Some parents discuss before marriage or giving birth rules for discipline. Other parents make them as they go after birth but the truth is, there are rules or discipline for behavior we don’t want. Not picking on MsPennyLane, but she was helpful to give me this example with a part she shared. She said that whenever she reads, she notices she exhibits the actions more. Then if Penny wants true control she needs to be kind to herself and give a better way she can gain power over it, without trying, yet obtaining complete success. Here a great rule might be that she can only read outside of her home or in the company of others such as a park, poolside, coffee house etc. Mentally as she is preparing to go, her brain is being reprogrammed the entire time. As she makes plans, showers and gets dressed, packs a lunch etc. If at the park setting she breaks the rules and is touching her hair, time to go home and happy reading time is over! If she knows going home would cause her satisfaction and allow her to be touching her hair, then its time to go to a friends house or moms for a visit. At times she might be resentful and want to read in her home curled up on the couch on a rainy day and it might not be conducive to be outside to read. This too is programming her brain and telling her that “she” set the rules, she is in control, and until she changes them after successful completion, she can not break the rules or deviate from them. Our affliction can NOT make the rules! We do! When afflictions make all the rules, we find ourselves falling into them and we are left with despair and low self esteem. We hate ourselves before and after which causes the INCREASE of actions until it rules us night and day. Time to take control and break the cycle!!
5. Wig wearers: Warning. If you are pulling hair and wearing a wig to cover the bald spots, you can choke off the oxygen needed by the scalp to regenerate the new hair growth. One poster said that most has grown back in on the sides but not on top. From experience this might be where the wig has on the inside a plastic skull cap where the wig hair is rooted. Even if not, your body generates heat and the top of the head is one of the leading sites where we disperse the excess heat. This heat causes tightening up of the scalp and so does hair dryers, and other types of heating elements. If we weren’t hair pullers but used heat elements, in time we too would experience thinning hair. This is true of hats also which includes skull caps, base ball caps etc. I’ve had over 30 years seeing various guys who constantly wear a base ball cap only to take if off and see he is completely bald on top to their embarrassment only to ask why when the rest is so thick and lush. I’ve been told it was because of a job [uniform] that required a cap, or slight thinning hair and they said it wasn’t bad at first by by the end of the first year the loss of hair had more than doubled. On another note, ask a man who purposely shaves his head if he had a full head of hair prior or if it was thinning. I have found today most choose this for themselves and it had nothing to do with thinning or going bald. They talk about the pain in the arse having to shave the “shadow” each day but brag how after time went by they no longer have to. Why? Why does it shine like a bowling ball without stubble or “pores”? Because the scalp is unlike other parts of the body and it was exposed to elements that people with hair are NOT exposed to. If you ever hope for life restored enjoying the fun stuff, never wear a wig, or in severe cases limit to 2 weeks and tell yourself Never Again. Then throw it out! Don’t be the base ball cap guy who threw on a hat to hide slightly thinning baldness to half shinny bowling ball with a thick ring of hair around it. Slightly thinning to totally bald without a way to ever regrow once the scalp becomes thinning, dry and non conducive to grow … like barren earth.
Note to TrichStar: The wig wearing helped keep you from access to grow your hair back – congrats for that! But like you, over 30 years ago it helped me in the same way. One huge oversight – - – - It didn’t “cure me” by giving me real life changes that last without removing the fun in life. We can all wear wigs but …. can we swim, sleep without the wig AND still feel beautiful, shower with it on, get close to a B-B-Q or intense oven heat without the tell tale burning [actually melting] of hair, ruff house with our kids, play touch foot ball etc? No, I couldn’t but I can now!
Number 5 above: To expound a bit further on the same path, any Trichster needs to know the absolute truth of the effects of what we do and how if effects new hair growth. Hair follicles aren’t accustomed to being ripped out. Under normal conditions, in time as we age the hair follicles “dry” up. Once this happens the hair falls out naturally and at times you can see a hard small white “ball” on the root end. This happens slowly and evenly across the entire head so no one spot becomes bald. On a full healthy head, a new follicle will emerge from barley below the surface and a “seed” for the new hair becomes present. Remember it not exposed like a balding head but is covered by a full head of hair. Different with the Trichster – If, and this IS a big if, you don’t wash your hair OR shower for several days, and then scratch your scalp, you will see debris under your finger nails. Most hair colors will still render a color under the nails of black even if you are blond headed. This is NOT dirt. It is actually the “seed” and fresh follicle you just removed. Hence, your scalp needs to start all over again. If on the other hand, you wear a hat or wig, these grow well with the moistness under the “roof” if its not excessively moist but they also tend to be more superficial and “rub” off the scalp and don’t become deeply rooted as they should. Also, the bacteria, heat, and then instant temp change when the hat or wig is removed causes tons to die prematurely. Sure, some make it but ts not the potential you could have had. When you use a hairdryer, you are causing too much heat on an area of scalp exposed to drastic heat that in turn closes the “pore” where the immature hair follicle was started. In essence what you just did was cause the same “drying” out effect of older age where the hair follicle dries out naturally. Think of the ripped out hair follicle and how moist it is from Trich. Or a plant grown from a seed – baby sapling ripped up out of moist earth. If the roots of the plant were able to become more rooted beneath, you could tug and tug at a tree sapling before ripping it out of the earth with success.
6. On number 5 above: Shampoo for Trichsters. This is so very important. Most will know what I mean when I say that if you had a real bad time and ripped where follicles were vastly present and attached to the hair and shortly after you take a warm/hot shower and upon putting shampoo on your head, you could feel the slight pain of where you pulled, this is the sting of pulling and holes left behind. How does this effect the scalp? Bad!! This will cause delay and closing of the “pore” and prolong the new growth cycle. Sometimes the closing of “that” pore is enough that it will never develop another follicle. Depending on the shampoo and possible chemicals, both organic and synthetic ingredients, it could render NO NEW follicle again from burning, much the same way electrical currents work like electrolysis does. Different method, same effect. There aren’t many options at this point but you do have safer choices. First rule – NO SHAMPOO THAT tingles, burns, stings or hurts!! Clear see through shampoo and WITHOUT conditioners EVER!! No Trichster can or should use ANY conditioners because the ingredients will fill the “pore” and clog them cutting OFF ALL OXYGEN!! Worse when “that” pore closes up with debris trapped … like a pimple but you can’t feel or see it because just enough is below without a bump you can feel externally. Nothing can grow without oxygen from within or externally on the human body! Clogging of the pores cases ITCHING! So remember, shampoo must be clear [like dish soap is clear even if tinted with color]. The appearance can not be milky, pearly, thick, etc. Baby shampoo is a great example. Less is best and simple is perfect. When you shop for supplies, you can buy a new shampoo you know you can’t use yet but seeing it waiting on the counter or in the shower until you can and smelling its great scent can be up-lifting knowing each day you ARE making changes, AND this is programming your brain in a positive “real” life changing way!
7. How to shampoo for the Trichster: Don’t use hot/hot water. Do not scratch and ONLY gently rub, NOT SCRUB! Use finger tips, not nails so hands need to be as flat as possible to use the finger “pads” and not in bent position like a claw shape. Do not go from warm water to hot or cold. If you need warmer water for your body because you love HOT showers, wash hair first and refrain from putting your scalp under the hot flow once its shampooed. To wash: As dumb as this sounds – turn on water, adjust temp – get in and wet hair. TURN Off water. Take a nice sit down break in the bottom of the tub with shampoo bottle in your hands. If the shampoo is mild and won’t hurt, use an ample amount. Gently rub as explained and then leave it alone on the scalp with a big lather and just sit and do nothing but think for a few minutes. Five minutes or just under is enough time for the shampoo to clean out old conditioner residue and built-up debris of what Trichsters cause by pulling. IE, blood so small you don’t even see in the pores, excess oil that may have filled the empty pores, skin cells etc. Then stand up, turn on water keeping scalp out until the temp is correct and then rinse turning your head from side to side, back and forth and DO NOT SCRUB. If you suspect deeply clogged pores, once per week, wash hair twice using the same directions. Each time you shower and spend the time to follow the directions for proper shampooing, this is programming your brain in a positive “real” life changing way! BTW, if you had dandruff, you won’t now or for very long because it cleans out the debris/germs that caused it. Washing a baby with cradle cap in the same manner also cures it if you DO NOT USE BABY OIL as the doctors tell you and comb through it to remove the flakes. No oil, no combing, period since this causes more inflammation and and unseen scratching in the surface of the scalp. Vicious circle.
8. Itchy scalp: This is great and even more important for Trichsters but also for the so called normal people. There are many reasons the Trichster has an itchy scalp that differs from other people’s problems but dandruff shampoos actually exacerbate the problem. Trichsters have additional factors. Pores we leave open, even though microscopic, are areas for bacteria and gems to grow where the hair and follicle were removed. To help stop the itch almost immediately, you can mix equal parts of water and the “brown medicinal mouthwash” as a rinse for after shampooing. Do not use any other mouth wash, at least according to me because not all are alike. Only the yucky tasting brown mouth wash actually kills germs but beyond that, the others might smell medicinal but also do damage to the scalp with burning. This would be before you get out of the shower and after washing your body so that the pores from warm water shampooing has had a chance to return back to a more normal size, and thus, the rinse doesn’t “seep” deeply into any pores but washes over the scalp. You do not need to rinse this out, nor worry that people will smell it once your hair is dry. But if for some reason you just have to rinse it out with clear water, then wait 5 minutes and rinse with clear water before getting out. Not important but fact, that this type of mouth wash also helps eliminate under arm odor and stains from happening to clothes when used full strength on a cotton ball and swabbed directly into the armpit! It also does wonders for foot problems when soaked in a tub of water with several cups added. It relieves tired feet from standing and kills a host of other body problems due to bacteria growth. Understanding the microscopic damage we are actually doing with each “pulling” to thousands of hair follicles, it would be easier to perhaps stop. Easy to say, but without acknowledging this IS OCD and then accepting it with putting into place rules for power over it, we still need sites like this for help and support. Each time you shop for shampoo/hair supplies you now know you need, this is programming your brain in a positive “real” life changing way! Your brain isn’t saying the same 2 things … “I want to pull or I need to stop pulling”. Instead your brain registers the truth “I’M DOING SOMETHING POSITIVE TO HELP MYSELF and the end is near in the future”.
9. Combs and brushes for the Trichster: Avoid all sharp combs that could remove the “seed” or scratch it from the scalp. Brushes should be very open and of the type seen and used in salons with colored “balls” at the end of the bristles. Real horse hair, boars hair or other types of brushes that are tight, plush and so nice to use need to be stopped until the Trichster can have power over the affliction. Combs and brushes should be used GENTLY! No dragging, digging or other type of fast motion or invigorating of the scalp with bristles should be done. Only use combs and brushes limited for styling. Any time you can forgo any combing or brushing after a shower and avoid a hairdryer it will speed up new hair growth. Each time you shop or use your new looking supplies this is programming your brain in a positive “real” life changing way! Why? Because you’re giving yourself all the time it takes to set up a plan and shopping for supplies makes it that much harder to just throw it out the window when your fingers touch hair! You start to realize YOU are the focus and what you want is worth it. Your want of beautiful hair left on your head will become stronger than the after effects of lowered self esteem from disappointment in your old actions of pulling.
10. Hair accessories: Bobby pins, barrettes, headbands, safe rubber bands, curlers, etc should be avoided. You think that by putting up your hair you are making it harder to “pull” and or hide from others! Besides the excess damage these accessories cause the Trichster, you are doing more harm to your brain by programming into it the wrong message!! In essence you are saying … “I have an embarrassing problem I don’t want others to know or SEE [because you are less than them in the sense of normal] BUT I’m cleaver because I can hide it! What you ARE doing is programming your brain to say I’m weird and not on par! I need to “hide” it?? No you need to have POWER over it! When you can say “This is OCD – I’m not a freak – I AM NORMAL AND NOT ALONE – I don’t want to remain this way – - – then you begin to implement the helping tools you need to conquer. No one on earth feels PERFECT! Who has the right to say this is any less or more than another affliction?? Besides, if needed simply say “I have a medical problem and I’m being treated for it”, which after all is true. If they asked what ailment, say “Its still under investigating and sorting out” and leave it there. Each time you shop for supplies you buy one or two accessories you just love for the hair you picture you want in the end after you gain full freedom! Buy a pretty basket, or men – a nice open box and keep them on display on the bathroom or dressing table so you can see the visual of where you ARE going to END. Each time you see the items, smile knowing you’re quickly working closer to that day. This is programming your brain in a positive “real” life changing way!
11. No Chemicals on scalp: This includes hair spray, mousse and gel. If absolutely needed, try using a clear gel. If mousse is all you have then use in moderation until you can buy gel. Some mousse ingredients are better than gel but if chemicals are used to expel it from the bottle, this is most damaging which makes cheap gels better. Both gel or mousse should be applied this way: Use a dime/nickel size in the open palm of the hand, turn on water faucet, rub hands lightly together, run ONE palm under the flowing water, remove and rub hands together to thin it out. Then lightly apply to hair avoiding the scalp. Mousse and gel actually works better applying this way instead of full strength but you need about a half dollars size if using mouse. Little details to consider but you won’t be looking for better ways to “hide it”. This is all reprogramming the brain and reinforcing, I CAN HAVE POWER AND CONTROL! Cancer patients have hair loss so remember, you can look beautiful too … and if asked about your hair loss just say “Thanks for asking but it’s a side effect of illness/drug reaction but its getting better every day.” Sometimes its not what we do or don’t say but what body language we give off thats telling.
12. Trust: You need TRUST of yourself. Another one that is easy to say but hard to get there without proper tools or knowhow. I have a suggestion that I know can work if you really want it too without missing the gratification you had with pulling. To understand this part, you need to realize that all “habits”, good or bad, in order to “break them”, you actually need to REPLACE THEM in some shape way or form even if its shear willpower [willpower is a strong emotion that replaces the other]. Think of the smoker who needs to quit. Yes, cold turkey is one but how many can or do compared with those who need a temporary replacement? Gum, candy, pencil between fingers etc. So this might be the “rules” a Trichster needs to implement in order: 1) Not allowed to touch hair AT ALL, unless shampooing or styling, period! 2) Find something you HATE doing – IE, maybe washing dishes or lets say pots and pans. On a normal basis now you take care of the regular dishes but leave the pots and pans. Each time you feel hair in your fingers you have to STOP, remove yourself immediately and wash a pot [or 2] before you can return to the prior activity. 3) Once you discuss with yourself the “Rules”, write them down on paper and sign and date it, then put it away in a dresser drawer. You don’t need daily reminders up in your face with each turn that reminds you of your affliction because this actually acts as a reminder of the negatives and NOT the positives. 4) If a journal works for you, fine keep it .. but I prefer to recommend you keep a simple wall calendar or daily planner or both. Buy happy simple stickers and each day, start the day when you FIRST get up by putting a sticker on the date on the calendar or planner. Each time you come home from work or go to bed, put another sticker if you were “pull free”. If your affliction is more often then come up with a timetable such as every 3 hours. Each time you were able to follow your “plan”, you get a sticker. If you didn’t, no fuss, just no sticker. 5) At each ending week, look at the calendar and ONLY count the amount of the ones showing and don’t concentrate on the ones missing. If your full week earned a perfect 14 for your plan of twice per day, once in the morning and once before bed, then you deserve a treat for that weekly total. Meaning in the plan you set up, this means you get to go out to dinner – or 14 dollars into a new account that belongs only to you etc. Your treat “payday” can’t fluctuate and like daily stickers must be done right on time and not put off. When you start a program like this, sure, you might be washing pots ALL THE TIME, but whistle while you work and a smug smile is fine!! Because you set the plan and YOU know you can follow it. In time, I can guarantee, you will wash less pots and build a small nest egg in your personal account – even if it wasn’t a dollar reward – because you will build happy memories [dinners or other perks] knowing you are capable and YOU deserve it and MADE IT HAPPEN! You ARE worth it!
Note: SECOND STAGE OF TRUST: VERY IMPORTANT Part 2.
To learn to give yourself workable parameters with earned and needed trust in yourself, this is an account you need to set up inside yourself yet still record the progress. It is more valuable and powerful than money because once there, it doesn’t run out! But like all things, it needs tools an a plan to get started. This is how it works: 1) The FIRST TIME you pass the first 14 days of a successful PF (pull-free) period and all stickers were earned [IE; no less than 2 weeks] from the start of your written out plan, schedule, and yes I said schedule on the calendar for 10 minutes to touch your hair in admiration and pleasure before a mirror. 2) At the end of the ten minutes, QUIT, and walk away and place a “special” sticker on the weeks payday! This sticker equals a bonus! You get to set up the bonus plan prior in the written agreement you made yourself as part of the program. 3) Then proceed to the start of a preplanned happy thing you wanted to do IE call a friend, pop popcorn and watch a movie, go out to eat desert etc. 4) Each time you pass another 14 day successful period PF, you earn another 10 minutes. 5) When one consecutive month has passed PF, you’ve earned the “big one” with another “bonus” that exceeds the first bonus even if by a smaller margin. Remember, not always do you need money. Trichsters are savvy and cleaver so this can be fun thinking up and designing a program plan for you by you and one you know you can succeed with. Be creative and bold in your plan and give definite “stepping stones” as I love to call them. Heck with yesterday if you weren’t PF, just keep looking at the stepping stones and go from one in front of you to the next! DON’T LOOK BACK! 6) After the one month mark of PF and all stones forward accomplished, increase your level of trust in yourself to increase your touch pleasure time in the mirror to 20 minutes. By now you have reached so many stepping stones and reaffirmed in yourself YOU CAN DO IT AND BE IN CONTROL without screwing it up or going backwards. ANY TIME you feel weakness and feel on any stepping stone you might stumble, WALK AWAY and know its OK and better to walk away (but you still earned the sticker if you walked away early and PF) … then smile and realize, truly you can and do trust yourself and know when to quit. You now have reached goals we didn’t even set but it happened all the same … endurance, self assurance, positive thinking in knowing you do call the shots … you can stay or you can walk away, but either way, it is up to you and what YOU WANT AND KNOW WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE along with your limits.
13. Trance state of mind: Know what you mean by this, how and why this happens. This occurs more with deeper forms of OCD and Trich is one of many. The best rules to stop this is by following the above information on number 12. Make trance like states and even sleeping times part of your program. Each time you feel hair in your hands, follow your plan, no exceptions and NO EXCUSES!! For the sleepers who do this but only while asleep, you too need to follow a full plan even if its after the fact. Sleepers do this because it conflicts with their brain and they are more deeply up-set knowing they do this. In other words, its a way of avoiding responsibility for the act or needing to gain control. A sure way to stop the sleeping times is sleeping on a silk pillow case. If it is a man in a sleeping state, he would be best off to have a silk scarf and go to bed with it in his hands. If this fails, then white cotton gloves should be worn for sleeping. If gloves can’t be bought, then wearing white socks on the hands works. An added benefit is Lavender lotion on the hands and then put the socks on since this is a great way to beautiful looking hands for both male and females. A tiny dab of Lavender oil on the pillow or socks will sooth the brain for sleep and acts to distract the mind with a pleasant smell as it programs your brain to a higher level of positive thinking. Some Trichsters who know the Trance like state, also know that if the phone rings, or kids are misbehaving and you need to tune in from a trance, door bell or knocking on the door etc brings feelings of anger! After the “rude interruption” they return with a double attack, instead of abating the act most times. This causes more isolation and downward spiral.
14. Short temper or attitude swings: Same as above in number 13 but this is a debilitating illness that very few understand or know all facets of and of course I’m not speaking of doctors with experience or knowledge on the subject. Some doctors are good for giving labels but very few cures. Any form of OCD can and most times does increase over time in frequency and intensity. So what is the good news if any? 1) Trichsters know more than the “normal” population on the subject. 2) To be a Trichster and have made it this far, it speaks volumes of how powerful we are or can be in giving ourselves our own “cure”. To understand this concept, think of how long you have been a Trichster – even with just as little as six months, your willpower to continue is strong enough to “think” up tricks to hide yet continue the act even to severe disappointment to self. Remember hearing “what goes up, must come down”? We live in a work of complete opposites. For Good, there is evil – for hot there is cold etc. OCD by its very definition can go the other way and WORK FOR US! As strong as the impulse to “do” one way, we can program our strong minds for the opposite. We are not feeble minded!!
15. Intentional short hair: This is another way of trying to gain control without real control measures. You are mis-programming the brain. The shortest hair can still be pulled … eyebrows, eyelashes, even whiskers! This is allowing you to direct hate towards yourself subconsciously which actually works to keep the cycle going! You hate short hair, so you punish yourself with the very object you use to attack with your affliction! Short hair isn’t washing pots and pans
So what happens is deep within your brain, you are setting up mistrust to attack the new hair or longer hair as soon as it is back. Each time you see long hair, IE, in person, on TV etc. you know yours isn’t and your brain screams ITS YOUR FAULT!! ! But is it? No more so than the color of your eyes! This allows your brain to misfire and the messages we might hear is … I’ll never be able to quit – I can’t wait for it to grow back in – I hope I don’t do it again etc.” If terrible punishment and bad memories really worked well, then why do so many get out of prison only to end up back in? Problem is, no one considered that something wasn’t working right in the first place and tried to HELP. Big difference between help and guessing while finding guinea pigs to test your theory on. We should all be thrilled we weren’t the first brain surgery patients. I’ve met children in my life time and love hearing what they want to be when they “grow up”. To date, I’ve never heard a child say a criminal because its cool and jail is a great place to live with the best food menu. Try reprogramming your brain this way by saying “I did what I did, it sucks but this is the last time I will ever be this “far” and even if I have several set-backs, I know each time I will improve .. because I now have tools and I can have the power – I can do it!” If you break your rules, CHANGE THEM so each time it’s worse if you break them. An example would be – wash 2 pots, rub hubby’s icky feet for 1 half hour tonight. Break them again and it might be – wash 2 pots, rub hubby’s feet, and dang it, an additional 1 hour in the garden pulling weeds! Your so called punishments aren’t directly related to the action but have the potential of huge rewards. The rewards might look like this: I really don’t hate washing pots so much anymore and found improved and quicker ways to get them done – hubby’s feet aren’t as icky to me, and hell, the returned affection and back rub he gave me was great – and wow, I’ve got the best weed free garden on the block!
16. Family and friends: One poster said she did tell hubby/boyfriend and was glad .. I think it was Penny. But this isn’t always going to be the best outcome for most people. My thought is, don’t go there. Why? Because think of how YOU felt the very first time … and the first REPEAT after you called yourself a sick weirdo and promised never to do it again! How did you really feel? And then before you found this website? How about now? Are you elated with great news you wouldn’t mind everyone you know and strangers hearing? Do you yourself fully understand every facet to Trich? Do you fully understand it enough to explain it to non afflicted people? If doctors, colleagues you have, family, friends, etc don’t have it, how can or why should YOU be responsible for explaining something not understood or recognized by even the regular medical profession? Funny how people work or internalize feelings, thoughts or emotions. Think of this: If I’m unmarried, 14 and pregnant, as common nowadays as it is, should I expect telling my mother – father and siblings, and by magic they will be elated and jump for joy and plan the baby shower lavishing me with support? Or should I be fully aware that their perception might severely differ and maybe I should run and duck? On the other hand, if I was married, over 25 and had a rich handsome hubby, and announced I was expecting, yes, perhaps I could anticipate their love, excitement, and support. At 14, not funny but usually the question is “How did you get pregnant? … at 21 and over, no one seems to ask that question. Is biting nails viewed the same as picking your nose and then going to your mouth with it? The point I’m trying to make is that for any Trichster, the road has already been long and difficult full of emotions so why heap on more road blocks to stumble? Clearly it is not going to be viewed as an illness like cancer, least not yet in time … but even if so, what then? Should a Trichster have people crying, in disbelief, asking “How did this happen?”…. or it said “….but no one in the family has this, so why you??” …. and more negatives heaped on top? With cancer, family wants to ask questions … diagnosis, prognosis, cures … Why? In cancer it could be viewed they didn’t “do” it, deserve it or CHOOSE THAT.. while the Trichster can simply be told to stop? This is false! Just like you may be born with a predisposition for cancer later in your life, Trichsters too are born with it! OCD is not something you catch or “buy” your way out of! Granted, our outcome might have better chances than a cancer patient. To my sadness ….. About 20 years ago, I watched a lady who was in the Miss America Beauty Pageant on TV announcing to the world how she was a hair puller and how afflicted she really was. She also had Pica with the HP – double whammy. In part she was begging and hoping for help … real help feeling tha the two combined would soon kill her from a possible Bezoar. She felt this would be good and the only right thing to do knowing surely she couldn’t be the only one. On the night before, well she pulled, but like a Trichster/Pica she had ways to hide it. It didn’t stop the ridicule and being thrown out of the pageant. Before she announced her illness she was beautiful, intelligent, witty and had talent and on top of the world …. after several events having aired, and following her announcement it was more like …. she was disgusting, MENTALLY RETARDED (diagnosis of doctors around the country talking on air), repulsive and not worthy of thought much less life!! 20 plus years later I still wonder what became of her or if she ended her life. I do recall how her family felt they didn’t deserve it because she was their daughter and “no mental illness was in the family BEFORE HER”. Sad, but folks, until Insurance companies and doctors come up to speed with employers, I recommend what IS private, stays private. Make your road ahead a success and without as many addition hurdles as possible.
17. Oily looking hair: A lot of people do. Some right after washing. This is the toxins and chemicals that build up in the scalp. If you want to change this for good, follow the shampoo guidelines above, don’t use extra products on the scalp, no hairdryers, BUT use the mouth wash suggestion. This is safe using several times per week, but I wouldn’t exceed 3 times per week and only use as a rinse in the shower.
18. Red spots on scalp: This is usually caused by the holes left from the pulling and sometimes a new hair follicle that is trying to develop just barely below the surface. Follicles re-sprout in the same place they vacated. The outer surface is either clogged or tougher than it should be. Tougher can occur from the many things I’ve already mentioned. To recap: hairdryers, chemicals, wearing wigs or hats, blood or scabs [mouth wash rinse softens, removes, and kills germs that can destroy new follicles], wax and agents in conditioners etc. So any condition unseen by microscope can cause the irritation and or problems with that little new “baby” whisker, and more so if it is “wimpy” or malformed.
19. Fake hair or powder: I recommend against it unless like our one poster, age doesn’t matter and perhaps she isn’t concerned with trying to grow it back due to age. Perhaps she can depending on how thin verses cover she has left if she wanted to grow it back. But hey, white hair, white powder and if she is happy, it works so go for it! For others though, substances clog the pores and this is true of non Trichsters equally. Environments, sun, some indoor lighting fixtures, heating elements [hairdryers], chemicals etc all act to dry and clog the scalp with skins cells and residue from bad products which cuts off available oxygen. Washing hair doesn’t remove the toxins that build up and using conditioners and hair spray only increase the effect to seal them in. Why have fake hair or cover ups if and when you can have real healthy hair and grow it back? If you don’t want to grow it back,, no problem. I know more men buying Nair to remove it and not for their cute smooth baby faces.
Possibilities of regrowing hair in bald spots or throughout thinning hair:
As crazy as it may sound but yes, you can replace healthy follicles, regrow hair and some people may be able to speed up the process. I found this by accident many, many years ago. I’m only one person though so what might have worked for me doesn’t mean it will work for everyone out there, or so I once thought. Over the years since then, I have told this to many others which it worked as well for. In short, it depends on: 1. If all the above rules concerning shampoo choice, mouth wash rinse and methods of washing are followed 2. No hats, wigs, or sharp combs or brushing, or hairdryers are used 3. How much open bald scalp is exposed verses what part of the scalp is still covered by natural hair. A rule of thumb for me helping others is if it can grow several “fuzzy” hairs, then you have better chances of growing more and not slowly. IE: To date I had 1 man with a complete bowling ball shinny head who said after years of being bald by choice, he changed his mind. We found that it generated new very noticeable hair within about 1 month but he became embarrassed as a CEO being asked why he had 5 O’ Clock shadow with prominent Alfalfa sprouts. Go figure! So he went back to bald 4 months later and mad at me because it was a long process everyday shaving his head with a straight edge and it kept coming back. It probably didn’t help when he was a red woodpecker looking bowling ball after the Nair burned his head and it swelled up but dang he had a strong black plume on top that a cockatoo would admire. 4. Using a topical harmless lotion [not Aloe Vera - which I can't say does good or doesn't damage further] was my first accidental find years ago. I never needed to shave my legs often at all but suddenly I could have braided them weekly and pulled the mane behind me. Legs maybe, but my arms became hairier and I thought I had some kind of weird hormone problem. Lady with hairy arms isn’t pretty. I couldn’t figure it out and it took 2 doctors and six months before it dawned on me. Yup, it was the lotion I was using at varied times. Dang doctors and all the money for the hormone tests and scans wasn’t refunded when I figured it out. They didn’t have a sense of humor either when I sent them a bill for their education in case they ever get another hairy lady that used the same lotion. Oh well, their loss and my new education that really started changing things for me. Using this simple lotion actually has new hair that isn’t kinky/coarse, or of poor texture. The only time I’ve seen poor texture [like pubic hair] or fuzzy [one hair shaft is both thick and thin - wimpy] is where the scalp no longer looks like a scalp, but is rather tight and pulled taunt, shinny and shows a lot of sun exposure or blotching due to ethnicity or some other types of skin disease.
Adding key vitamins [not multi pills or combined ingredients] was also another accident I found. The second great accident. At my age I finally started getting gray hairs … here, then there. Well taking separate vitamins instead of a multi pill wasn’t new to me. I know how dangerous even vitamins are if you don’t know which ones not to combine and take at the same time. Having over 14 bottles, with several doses per day of certain ones was no easy trick because over dosing is real. There is such a thing as wrong combinations that can and do cause death. This particular accident happened because of different size bottles and running out of some of them when I didn’t keep track before my son does my shopping. So for several weeks, my mistake, his mistake but one vitamin always seemed to not get purchased. I started to notice I was getting more and more gray hair, but heck, even my eye sight wasn’t as sharp. I was surprised seeing a whole patch on the front of my forehead … solid gray against black. Great for movie goblins or Halloween but I wasn’t ready and started to think about hair dyes for the first time in my life. That is when my happy son said “Hey mom, this time I remembered and think I got the right one”. It was, so back in line on the counter it went in its place so I wouldn’t make a dangerous combination by accident. I don’t recall now but a short time later … approximately 2 to 3 weeks I was brushing my teeth and thought I saw the base of my front patch of white hairs were actually black again. I was thinking, hey, maybe blurry vision but this is impossible to have black roots below gray hair … then I was amazed I didn’t even have my glasses on but saw this. I just had to go get my glasses, puck a hair out and take an up close look … shock, it was black roots about 1/2 inch long. Plucked another one … yup, same. then another, same results. Well now I’m thinking I had to be wrong or crazy, I went to get an old jewelers eye-loop piece which is stronger than my magnifying glass with prescription glasses on. Yes indeed it was black roots. I have friends in the “older group” from 63 and up to mid 80′s or so. As my hair continued to grow faster, the effect was a stripe of gray in the middle of the hair shaft from the sides or back of my head while the front patch was two toned but in the weirdest way … gray from the middle to the outer ends with long healthy black roots 3 1/2 plus inches long. Gray hair has a coarse texture all its own but this hair was silky, consistent, and smooth. Well that was the talk of the Bunco Club. It was cut shortly after to remove the “cool skunk punk” as they named it and today, I’m all back to pepper with scant salt. No hair dyes and looks like I won’t be needing to pick a color soon ether.
Based on my personal experiences and years of knowledge, I aways thought someday I’d write a book … not for me, or you … trust me, the doctors will need it more. After all, Sigmund Freud was their teacher to much of what they base their opinions of mental status of their patients today. This being the case we are hundreds of years away from a medical glimmer of sensibility. I don’t know yet if someday I will write a book or not but folks, this article took me forever to write with several computer failures where I sucked in the dreaded breath wondering if all was lost. So what is the overall moral for Trichsters? Good health has to be inside as well as outside! There is more than hope! We have a strong mind that can demand we don’t quit
… all we need to do is turn that around to work for US now! I’m living proof. If I can get any of you to read this long dang article, maybe, just maybe I can show you how if you take the steps outlined here today and get busy … this can last a life time! What you learn with any suggestions I’ve painstakingly typed above can put you beyond Trich and used in every facet of your future. Take a good hard study into math and life realizing any negative is actually a positive but YOU have to want it AND know you’re worth it. What you want this to be can be your blessing and positive or your biggest nightmare without end. Make it work FOR YOU!
I wish you God speed.
Hi everyone! I’ve been pulling since the 5th grade and I am now a freshman in college. It has been 8 years that I’ve pulled hair from the crown of my head. I don’t think I’ve worn my hair down a single day since 7th grade and i miss my hair so much. I’ve always been wondering if the hair ever grows back but i gave up on that thought a long time ago because every time I try to stop i just couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t work for a single day, no matter how much i hated myself for it. Until now – I always pulled my hair when I was alone back at home. Now that I’m in college and I have a room mate, I cant really pull my hair out. I just cant weird her out like that. I’m sure she notices that my hair isn’t normal but i haven’t told her about it, don’t plan on it, and it’s hard to see how weird it is when i wear it up. Anyways, I haven’t pulled in 25 days! Not a SINGLE hair! And I’m so proud of it. I do get temptation when I’m alone but the temptation is so much more manageable because I don’t want to break my success. I really hope the hair will grow back this year. I really have done a lot of damage. I always pulled from the same large patch, on the top back crown of my head, and i always pulled hairs with roots on the ends. the entire area is thin short and uneven. Well I wish everybody luck with overcoming this and hopefully getting some of the hair back! Basically I’m just writing to give this little tidbit of advice – try not to isolate yourself! If you’re embarrassed about in it, you will be MUCH less likely to pull in front of other people. I know many people pull while doing still activities such as homework, reading or watching tv. That was always my problem. If that’s the case, go to the library and do your homework, or sit in a family room and do your homework if you’re in high school. Watch tv with other people. I know this is really helping me a LOT.
good luck everyone, you’re not alone, you CAN do this!
This is refreshing. I started pulling when I was around 13 (I’m 20, now), and in the past few years I’ve been able to tone down the pulling. I still do it, but not so much. For me, I’ve always prone to pulling out the hair that’s darker than the rest of my hair (it’s mostly blonde and fine and I go after the darker thick strands that run through it), which is somewhat fortunate, I suppose, since it’s led to me not pulling to the point of bald patches. Anyway, I feel like if I dye my hair all the same color, I’ll be less prone to pulling it out, but the problem is that I’m in college and still living with my parents. My mom hates the idea of me dying my blonde hair another color and won’t let me do it and I’m too chicken to tell her the real reason why I need to change it. Gah, it’s so frustrating. I used to have super thick hair and though it’s about as thick as the average person’s now, it’s still incredibly thin compared to what I used to have.