Have you ever had this feeling?
I get it from time to time. It’s not because my trich is so bad that I have bald patches I want to cover up – I only have thin patches that I don’t think others would notice.
It’s more because of the freedom it would bring.
To shave your head would mean liberation from a world where our identity is, somehow, connected to the dead cells growing out of our scalp.
It would also mean making a choice to be you and not worrying what other people think.
On an everyday level, it would mean not taking care of hair, not worrying about bad hair days, and not having to think about your next haircut.
Sometimes I mention my idea to my friends, and they think it’s odd. They don’t know about my trich, really, but I try to get them to understand how liberating it could be. I just wish I had the guts to really shave my head one day!
I have totally had this feeling before, you are NOT alone in it. I think probably we all feel like this from time to time, feel like shaving your head would be a new start, and maybe you could control yourself and not be tempted to pull the new hair that grew in. I feel like this too, sometimes.
Libbt – It would be a new start in so many ways, I don’t think I would ever do it. Maybe one day to raise money for charity or something??
That would certainly be a good spin to put on it, shaving your head to raise money for charity. But I don’t think I could ever really do it, either, though. :/
my sister and friend were pressuring me saying that i should shave my head in order to stop pulling. They said that because my hair would be too short to pull it would in turn make me stop. I think this is wrong because when it grows back to a length that can be pulled ill probably start pulling again except i wont be able to hide it anymore. what do you think? Also i was very upset at this suggestion because i thnk i would look bad with a shaved head and i also think that there would be many questions that will arise from everyone i know
Mila – Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I do believe that many people who pull their hair have shaved their head to help themselves get over it, but it is a very brave thing to do and you’re right – it would make you look very different.
I think it would be liberating to do, and nice to have short hair and not to have to worry about it much, but you’re right when it grows back the temptation could still be there to pull, we don’t know for sure. Plus I am also worried about what others think – but really, your friends should appreciate you no matter whether you have a shaved head or not.
In some ways I want to shave my head, but I don’t think I can just because I’m not brave enough. It sounds like you don’t want to do it either, so just remember you don’t have to!
listen i cant take it ive pulled my hair out so much i dont wanna shave my head and people relise that i have bald spots i wear my hood but my mum makes me have it off i tie up my hair at school but people still notice kids follow me and ask what happened i feel like crying i hate it i dont want to shave my head because i just dont but i dont have to and is their anyway in stopping this i also had this when i was younger and it grew back but now i pull my hair out so much theirs a bald spot and i feel it and its rele smooth it wont grow back plz someone help.
Ruby – I am so sorry to hear that. Is there anything you can do when you tie your hair back to make it less obvious? Like wearing a big headband or a scarf in a fashionable type way? Apart from that you just need to realise that you aren’t crazy for pulling your hair. It is as common as biting nails but unfortunately we feel shameful about it because people don’t understand and have never heard of it. And I am sure your hair will grow back eventually, it just needs a break from the pulling. Sometimes you might get some that won’t grow back but generally it will grow back given time to recover. Good luck! And I am always here if you need to talk more.
to ruby holy shit i am just starting to pull my hair out. i have been trying to learn to do tricks with a pen so u should try it
just hang in there man
(Dylan 12 years old
i know what you mean. i do tho want to shave my head. i have short hair as it is and half of its missing!! I just want to get rid of it all so id at least have a break to not pull. Its like, i know im doing it, i just cant stop!!!! I told my parents that i wanted to shave it all, and they were like absolutely not! you think you get made fun of now? just wait
I am 27 and have pulled since i was 12. i have tried everything in the books! i wore clip in extensions for the last year as the hair i have not pulled is very long thick annd black. I got so tired of trying to cover up my spots and watched a show on TV last nite and saw that a girl DID overcome her pulling by shaving her head. haha so today i bought an electtric shaver and buzzed my head BALD! on a whim.(well i got my closest friend to do it) I have never thought of shaving till last nite and i think if i thought about it too much I would have backed down! My hair was down my middle back and truth is i thought i would be sad or scared. It felt very very liberating! and now for at least 2 months i will have nothing long enough to pull. and if i feel like pulling when its long enough im gonna shave it right off until the habbit is kicked! I do work in a very public place so i also bought a long black wig that looks so real you couldnt even tell its not my hair! this wig is even more motivation. ive only had it on for afew hours now and i can see myself with a full head of hair. I WANT IT SO BAD!!! Im gonna kick this habbit! after what i braved thru today I believe in myself for once!!!! for once i have a good feeling about my pulling:)
Gina – WOW I admire what you did so much!! That is so brave. I can only imagine how liberating it’d be, I’m too scared to do it. I really really hope it works for you and please come back here and post your results
sigh… i do it too ive been doing it since i was like in year 5, i dont know how it started but as soon as i start studying or siting at my desk or watching tv, b4 i know it my hand is on my head and starting to pull out, but i only pull at a certain spot, im not sure why…. but i seem to enjoy the pain sensation i get from pulling my hair, only in certain spots.
yes ive taught about shaving it off b4 but i havent got the guts to do that
Erica – I am exactly the same, do it in similar situations and the same spot of the head. I don’t have the guts to shave my head
But anyway, just realise that pulling doesn’t define who you are, you may pull but that doesn’t make you any less of a person!
I have shaved my head many times in frustration over trich, and it has never helped me stop pulling. As soon as it’s long enough, I just start right up again. Even after years being bald.
I don’t want to be negative, but I thought it was worth mentioning that it wasn’t the fresh start I thought it would be. You can see the bald spots at first, but after a few months my hair grew back in and it looked fine (for a shaved head). The only real positive was once I was used to it, I didn’t have the daily stress of trying to cover bald spots.
XO
Penelope – I’m so sorry to hear that it never helped. I have heard it helped some people but I can definitely understand how it may not too
I hope you feel comfortable with yourself however you decide to wear your hair. Thank you for coming and leaving your insight.
Same for me , i m new here by the way ,
love the blog:)
i ve been shaving since 7 years ago in vain …:( i m 32 , and i pulled since 12
This would be perfect if majority of pullers weren’t girls… :’(
Janee – I know, it’s very hard for girls. We have such a strong connection to our hair which can make pulling all the harder to deal with. But even for boys, it’s still so hard. That’s why I admire everyone who has the strength to shave their head.
I’ve thought the same thing… I’m actually a hairdresser, I’m 22 and I’ve been pulling since I was 11, on and off over the years but since I started college its gotten worse to the point where I feel like I have no control. I took the initiative to seek out Cognitive Behavior Therapy but my behavior is so automatic and I feel like my hand has a mind of its own. Sometimes when I realize that I’m pulling, I tell myself to stop and yet I don’t stop. Most of my hates this and wants it to go away so badly but another part is comfortable in this action that I’ve been doing for 11 years and thats the part that seems to have the most control. I’ve thought about shaving my head too, but who wants a bald hairdresser??
Heather – It must be tough being a hairdresser and doing this, but in some ways I think it’s good because it would be great to have a hairdresser who understood
I am the same age and have been pulling for the same length of time. Did your CBT help at all? I am so scared to get help (so far my blog has been my therapy – and it’s worked a lot) but I am really on the brink of taking action like that now.
heather i’m in the same situation as you i’m also a hairdresser but my problem is eyebrow and lash and now progression on the hairline i wanna just shave all my hair off too and just wear my wigs but im a little nervous of them falling off or not staying on..what a stupid thing to have i cant believe that i make people look beautiful but yet i make myself look horrible!! ughh totally discouraged!
just wanted to add that i have shaved my hair last week after suffering from trich for 5 years and iv not pulled since really happy i think its going to work
.-= prciouse´s last blog ..You CAN Stop Pulling – A Comment I Received =-.
prciouse – Thanks so much for coming here and sharing your experience – well done!!
Hi there!
I’m a 45-year-old who’s been pulling since I was 12. Needless to say, my hair was pretty much a disaster – I “camouflaged” it by pulling my hair into a ponytail, but the disaster just got worse over time, as you can imagine.
I wished MANY times that I was brave enough to just shave my head, but always stopped because I imagined that it wouldn’t work. Also, my hair was down to my bum, so the change scared me silly.
So here’s the deal…I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Nov, and was told that I should shave my head because the chemo would wipe out my hair anyway. I went ahead with it, thinking I’d end up pulling elsewhere.
SURPRISE & SUCCESS! My head’s now been shaved for almost 6 months, and I’ve COMPLETELY lost the urge to pull. It may be that folks just need to give themselves some time to get over it.
I have 1 more chemo treatment. When I’m done, I’m confident that my hair will grow back thick and that I won’t feel the urge to pull anymore.
Hang in there, all…
LeslieJ – Wow thank you so much for the positive comment. I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner – and I hope your chemo went ok (or is still going ok). Thank you for sharing this positive message about shaving your head!
I’m male and started pulling my hair out at 11 or 12. After a few years of bald patches, I settled down enough so people wouldn’t notice if they weren’t looking for it. Still, I figured as a guy I had a free pass at trying a shaved-head look so right before college I did. It was more difficult than you think it will be to do it (get a friend to help unless you have a great mirror setup to see the back of your head). Also, it looked bad. Worse than I thought it would, even though I wasn’t expecting to be a matinee idol. The look was distinctly less “military” and more “chemotherapy.” A buzz instead of a complete shave might fix that problem but that’s even harder to maintain and you’d be surprised how short of a hair you can pull out.
I find the thing that helps me most is to maintain a short haircut. Partly because longer hair feels more uncomfortable or more alien to me so I am more likely to pull it out. But also partly because, practically, it is harder to conceal bald spots when you have short hair. If you start developing them, you are going to notice and you can be sure everyone else will too. So you have more incentive to check yourself pulling, and it’s more apparent when you need to check yourself. And, while men’s-length hair on women can be striking (I personally rather like it), it’s far less radical than the chemo look. I’d recommend starting there – but try to go light on pulling for a couple weeks before you do, so you don’t discover bald spots when you cut it.
Loren – Thanks so much for sharing your experience with head shaving. I kind of imagine doing it to the very short level, but it’s too hard for me right now – my hair is so long and I’m attached to it! But like you said, there’s always the risk of even pulling those tiny hairs. Thanks so much for this pratical advice!
Just do it. Shave your damn head already.
I had awesome, beautiful, thick, chestnut-brown curly hair. Unfortunately I’d destroyed it in the back with pulling for over a year. Three says ago I took the plunge and buzz-cut my hair.
It’s incredibly freeing. It really is. Yeah, I look like a Buddhist mink, or maybe a military research center escapee, but If people ask why my hair is short, I show them the bald patches where hair is just starting to grow in and tell them. “I pull out my own hair. It’s related to OCD and Tourrette’s. I couldn’t sop, so I shaved my head to force myself to stop”
Generally the response has been positive. People aren’t assholes- if you give them a reasonable answer, their reaction is usually “wow, I could never do that if I had that problem. I’m glad you’re taking control of the situation.”
Seriously, just do it already. In the end the only person you have to answer to is you.
Jillian – Wow I really admire your attitude! I’d be so scared to tell things like that to people. Even though I know I should, because then the condition would become better known and understood, and we wouldn’t have to be ashamed.
ugh i think about this all the time. i know id never do it but sometimes i wish i had some excuse, like chemo or something. the only problem is when i pull all the hairs out in this certain spot, then i scratch and pick the skin there too until i have a wound, and so even if i was bald im still scared i would scratch and pick at the skin. and the second the hair was visible id pull it out. ugh. so frusterated. i feel like whenever i am reseaching trich i am always sitting at my computer pulling, its so redic.
Chris – Try not to ever wish you had an excuse like chemo. I know that trich is hard, but look at the positives. Just remember that pulling doesn’t change who you are it won’t ultimately damage our health. Good luck!
yes ofcourse i love to shave it i feel starting a new day, i always wished to shave my head,becouse i think somthing new in our life can play an important roll in preventing from this disorder thing….but i can not do this becouse i cant be out of reach for about 3 or 4 months untill my hair grows,and when it grows the pulled hair will not grow while the otheres that are healthy.what do you think?????
hi is there some one to share my feelings about my hair pulling,im shamed
I’ve recently thought that shaving my head would help and I could just wear a wig to school or a awhile but my dad is against it. Every time I ask him to shave my head he just gets slightly angry and says ‘no’. He doesn’t even have a good reason for saying ‘no’. My hair pulling has been going on for a year and two months, not as long as some people I’ve read about, but its been a year and two months to long. I am so ashamed in myself, I just hae this one spot on back of my head, just one spot. Its over half the size of my palm and its just angers me every time I look at it. Sometimes I can stop pulling for a week or two but just one moment of weakness pulls me over the edge. EVERY TIME. I think that having not hair might help me but my dad will not have it. I’m only fifteen and can’t really do anyting about it.
Tori – That’s such a shame that your dad doesn’t understand. I guess he is trying to do the best for you, but just doesn’t realise that hair isn’t really that important. Unfortunately people think we shouldn’t have shaved heads. But whatever you do, just remember you’re not weird for pulling your hair, it doesn’t change who you are.
I don’t use to see bald womens in my country (Argentina), but you know what? every bald woman that i saw, it’s one of the most beautifull things i saw in my life, i love that kind of womens, i think they give to you a diferent message, a diferent point of view and that’s it’s wonderfull.
yes, i would be in love and i would get married with a bald woman and you know why?
BECAUSE THEY’RE DIFFERENT.
if you are reading this and you’re thinking to shave your head, go ahead, with no doubts and… (call me, pretty girl, i’m single
thanks for the space, i freed myself for a while
sorry if my english is bad
So I am 24 years old and this marks the 10th year that I have had Trich. I decided last night that I am shaving my head today. I don’t know if it will work or not but I refuse to go through the rest of my life like this so I am taking control. I promise to come back here and post my results. Wish me luck!
Courtney, how did it go? Details Details.
Hi, my 9 year old has been pulling her hair for a few months now and is so bad that she has no hair on one side of the head all the way from the front to the hairline. She cries because she wants to stop and is making an effort. We have discussed shaving it all of in a few months if she doesn’t get it under control. I’d love to help her, whatever it takes as she’s very distressed.
I am 42, and have been pulling since I was 11. Sometimes I can stop pulling for months and I have hope that my hair will grow back, but I always relapse. I’m sick of it. Tried drugs and CBT. Drugs don’t work, CBT is only temporary. Only two options left , 1. Cut off my hands, 2. Shave my head. Obviously option 2 is the only option. I just need the courage to do it? Anybody else finally take the plunge? If so, what were the reactions you got. How does it make you feel?
Uhg ive been pulling for 3 years and it feels like im dieing inside!!i read all the posts and it seems im prety lucky it seems alot of you r goung through a harder time then i am!!im so sorry you guys!!anyway, for almost 2 years(not 3) i havent AT ALL been going to the hair dresser bc im embarrased about my bald spot, i cut my own hair, which always ends up looking like a professional did it bt i NEED to go the the hair dressers!but its so embarrasing with the open areas where they do your hair, where ppl can actuall SEE you, i dont know what to do, plz help me i probly have soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many spit ends!!!
nobody’s posted for a while … however, been thinking about just shaving it all off so I can let it all grow in at the same length, however, I can’t afford a wig – how would I explain it to people?
Hi, My name is Monica and I have had trich for abouit 30 years on and off.At the moment my hair is not so good.I have had periods in my life where my hair has been good but Ive suffered for the last 10 years on a daily basis with this.I am considering shaving my head but am nervous of what people think,will ask me if I have cancer etc.I think I really need to just let go of this .I know this doesnt make who I am but it eats away at me that I cant stop I will keep you posted if I do shave my head.
I’m the bald woman with big ears.I’m bald by choice and I love it! I shave my head everyday with a razor and shave cream.I’m a cancer survivor and lost all my hair during cheom treatments and I enjoyed not having hair. When my hair grew back,I had it all shaved off at a salon and I have no intention of growing it back because I’m much more comfortable being bald.I have huge,big ears that stick out from my head and it feels great to have them exposed.I feel beautiful without hair.I don’t need hair to define me.Being bald is who I am.My hair is gone forever and I couldn’t be any happier.
If your in Boston and looking for a reason to shave your head, write me !
I buzzed my head today. hair is about 1/8 inch all over, and i love it! i had really think wavy hair, down to my hips, and i’m donating it to locks for love =D
i’ve always wanted to cut my hair like this… and planning to do it motivated me not to pull for ~2 months. unfortunately i broke down once, so i have one bald patch. if you look really closely you can also see scars on my scalp, but barely perceptible. doesn’t look too bad. and it serves as a reminder of a place i do not want to be again.
All of you thinking about shaving, reflect deeply on it. if you conclude you want to do it, go for it! don’t worry about what others will say. it is your head, your life. be strong, and know that you are and will be beautiful regardless of your hair.
I had trich when I was 12 years old and parents took me to a doc for it… it never went away but I forgot about the problem as I aged. I always left my scalp and eyebrows alone, oddly enough would just bite the hairs on my arms now and then or tug them without pulling. One day when I was dying my hair around my 22nd birthday, days later my hair started falling out a bit which freaked me out and the texture of my hair changed to being more rough and curly. I started obsessing about checking whether my hair was still falling out by pulling gently and letting the dye damaged hairs come out. Eventually months later I realized the dye damage was done and the continued hair loss was from me gradually getting more aggressive with the pulling to “test the hairs” and that was the beginning of 3 painful years of pulling. I ended up shaving my head because it was thin all over (except the very back) and the entire top (the worst of it) was 1/4 the normal volume of hair and extremely bare looking.
I will say that if you have trich, shave your head… it’s very nice not worrying about how your hair looks, nonstop staring in the mirror, covering up spots with various hair coverage products. I’ve been shaving for a year now and I completely lost the urge to pull… the thought of doing it just makes me sick now. My biggest regret in life is just putting off the problem… kept getting shorter haircuts and thinking it’s all good now I’m safe to pull just a bit… pulling from thicker areas that had been untouched seemed like a solution… I wish I shaved it all right then and there to make it impossible for me to do more damage.
Unfortunately I may be one of the unlucky individuals who has permanent damage after only 3 years of pulling. I see some regrowth which is transparent white peach fuzz that hopefully will improve in color eventually but overall, considering it’s been over a year pull free, there is not much regrowth at all. When I let it grow in a bit to see how it looks before shaving again, it looks nearly the same in terms of the bald areas as when I started shaving a year ago. Trying to do everything I can, scalp massages with castor oil, moisturizers, ketaconazole organic shampoos, rogaine to try to reactivate follicles… but still no luck yet. I always hear about people having good regrowth in spots after 6-9 months on average but I just seem to be making no progress so for now I just plan to sport the bald look for life.
I am 28 yrs married female. I had a habit of pulling my hair. My husband watched me for a few days, said not to, watched me for a few weeks more, and then one fine morning, came up to me with a pair of scissors and his own shaving razor, Gilette with shaving foam, and smilingly asked me if I wished to go really really headshaven. As if in a trance, I said yes, and sat with my back to him. He wanted me to bend my head, and started to shave my nape first. Then my top of head, then beside my ears, and look, within flat 10 minutes I had the thing I was in need of – my freedom. Freedom from hair, combing, shampooing, maintaining- all gone in 10 minutes flat. I am happy happy happy to be headshaven, and have rather decided between two of us that I shall remain headshaven by shaving it off every 2nd or 3rd day, and I have learnt to shave my head myself. Yes, myself.