Have you ever had this feeling?
I get it from time to time. It’s not because my trich is so bad that I have bald patches I want to cover up – I only have thin patches that I don’t think others would notice.
It’s more because of the freedom it would bring.
To shave your head would mean liberation from a world where our identity is, somehow, connected to the dead cells growing out of our scalp.
It would also mean making a choice to be you and not worrying what other people think.
On an everyday level, it would mean not taking care of hair, not worrying about bad hair days, and not having to think about your next haircut.
Sometimes I mention my idea to my friends, and they think it’s odd. They don’t know about my trich, really, but I try to get them to understand how liberating it could be. I just wish I had the guts to really shave my head one day!
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My name's Penny, and I started OnTrich (a trichotillomania blog) to try and raise awareness about hair pulling, and also as a way to help me deal with my own pulling. I'm a 23 year old girl from the UK and I've been pulling for 13 years. Get in touch if you want to chat or need any help - I love meeting people here.
I have totally had this feeling before, you are NOT alone in it. I think probably we all feel like this from time to time, feel like shaving your head would be a new start, and maybe you could control yourself and not be tempted to pull the new hair that grew in. I feel like this too, sometimes.
Libbt – It would be a new start in so many ways, I don’t think I would ever do it. Maybe one day to raise money for charity or something??
That would certainly be a good spin to put on it, shaving your head to raise money for charity. But I don’t think I could ever really do it, either, though. :/
my sister and friend were pressuring me saying that i should shave my head in order to stop pulling. They said that because my hair would be too short to pull it would in turn make me stop. I think this is wrong because when it grows back to a length that can be pulled ill probably start pulling again except i wont be able to hide it anymore. what do you think? Also i was very upset at this suggestion because i thnk i would look bad with a shaved head and i also think that there would be many questions that will arise from everyone i know
Mila – Remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I do believe that many people who pull their hair have shaved their head to help themselves get over it, but it is a very brave thing to do and you’re right – it would make you look very different.
I think it would be liberating to do, and nice to have short hair and not to have to worry about it much, but you’re right when it grows back the temptation could still be there to pull, we don’t know for sure. Plus I am also worried about what others think – but really, your friends should appreciate you no matter whether you have a shaved head or not.
In some ways I want to shave my head, but I don’t think I can just because I’m not brave enough. It sounds like you don’t want to do it either, so just remember you don’t have to!
listen i cant take it ive pulled my hair out so much i dont wanna shave my head and people relise that i have bald spots i wear my hood but my mum makes me have it off i tie up my hair at school but people still notice kids follow me and ask what happened i feel like crying i hate it i dont want to shave my head because i just dont but i dont have to and is their anyway in stopping this i also had this when i was younger and it grew back but now i pull my hair out so much theirs a bald spot and i feel it and its rele smooth it wont grow back plz someone help.
Ruby – I am so sorry to hear that. Is there anything you can do when you tie your hair back to make it less obvious? Like wearing a big headband or a scarf in a fashionable type way? Apart from that you just need to realise that you aren’t crazy for pulling your hair. It is as common as biting nails but unfortunately we feel shameful about it because people don’t understand and have never heard of it. And I am sure your hair will grow back eventually, it just needs a break from the pulling. Sometimes you might get some that won’t grow back but generally it will grow back given time to recover. Good luck! And I am always here if you need to talk more.
to ruby holy shit i am just starting to pull my hair out. i have been trying to learn to do tricks with a pen so u should try it
just hang in there man
(Dylan 12 years old
I am 27 and have pulled since i was 12. i have tried everything in the books! i wore clip in extensions for the last year as the hair i have not pulled is very long thick annd black. I got so tired of trying to cover up my spots and watched a show on TV last nite and saw that a girl DID overcome her pulling by shaving her head. haha so today i bought an electtric shaver and buzzed my head BALD! on a whim.(well i got my closest friend to do it) I have never thought of shaving till last nite and i think if i thought about it too much I would have backed down! My hair was down my middle back and truth is i thought i would be sad or scared. It felt very very liberating! and now for at least 2 months i will have nothing long enough to pull. and if i feel like pulling when its long enough im gonna shave it right off until the habbit is kicked! I do work in a very public place so i also bought a long black wig that looks so real you couldnt even tell its not my hair! this wig is even more motivation. ive only had it on for afew hours now and i can see myself with a full head of hair. I WANT IT SO BAD!!! Im gonna kick this habbit! after what i braved thru today I believe in myself for once!!!! for once i have a good feeling about my pulling:)
Gina – WOW I admire what you did so much!! That is so brave. I can only imagine how liberating it’d be, I’m too scared to do it. I really really hope it works for you and please come back here and post your results
sigh… i do it too ive been doing it since i was like in year 5, i dont know how it started but as soon as i start studying or siting at my desk or watching tv, b4 i know it my hand is on my head and starting to pull out, but i only pull at a certain spot, im not sure why…. but i seem to enjoy the pain sensation i get from pulling my hair, only in certain spots.
yes ive taught about shaving it off b4 but i havent got the guts to do that
Erica – I am exactly the same, do it in similar situations and the same spot of the head. I don’t have the guts to shave my head
But anyway, just realise that pulling doesn’t define who you are, you may pull but that doesn’t make you any less of a person!
I have shaved my head many times in frustration over trich, and it has never helped me stop pulling. As soon as it’s long enough, I just start right up again. Even after years being bald.
I don’t want to be negative, but I thought it was worth mentioning that it wasn’t the fresh start I thought it would be. You can see the bald spots at first, but after a few months my hair grew back in and it looked fine (for a shaved head). The only real positive was once I was used to it, I didn’t have the daily stress of trying to cover bald spots.
XO
Penelope – I’m so sorry to hear that it never helped. I have heard it helped some people but I can definitely understand how it may not too
I hope you feel comfortable with yourself however you decide to wear your hair. Thank you for coming and leaving your insight.
This would be perfect if majority of pullers weren’t girls… :’(
Janee – I know, it’s very hard for girls. We have such a strong connection to our hair which can make pulling all the harder to deal with. But even for boys, it’s still so hard. That’s why I admire everyone who has the strength to shave their head.
I’ve thought the same thing… I’m actually a hairdresser, I’m 22 and I’ve been pulling since I was 11, on and off over the years but since I started college its gotten worse to the point where I feel like I have no control. I took the initiative to seek out Cognitive Behavior Therapy but my behavior is so automatic and I feel like my hand has a mind of its own. Sometimes when I realize that I’m pulling, I tell myself to stop and yet I don’t stop. Most of my hates this and wants it to go away so badly but another part is comfortable in this action that I’ve been doing for 11 years and thats the part that seems to have the most control. I’ve thought about shaving my head too, but who wants a bald hairdresser??
Heather – It must be tough being a hairdresser and doing this, but in some ways I think it’s good because it would be great to have a hairdresser who understood
I am the same age and have been pulling for the same length of time. Did your CBT help at all? I am so scared to get help (so far my blog has been my therapy – and it’s worked a lot) but I am really on the brink of taking action like that now.
just wanted to add that i have shaved my hair last week after suffering from trich for 5 years and iv not pulled since really happy i think its going to work
prciouse´s last blog ..You CAN Stop Pulling – A Comment I Received
prciouse – Thanks so much for coming here and sharing your experience – well done!!
Hi there!
I’m a 45-year-old who’s been pulling since I was 12. Needless to say, my hair was pretty much a disaster – I “camouflaged” it by pulling my hair into a ponytail, but the disaster just got worse over time, as you can imagine.
I wished MANY times that I was brave enough to just shave my head, but always stopped because I imagined that it wouldn’t work. Also, my hair was down to my bum, so the change scared me silly.
So here’s the deal…I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Nov, and was told that I should shave my head because the chemo would wipe out my hair anyway. I went ahead with it, thinking I’d end up pulling elsewhere.
SURPRISE & SUCCESS! My head’s now been shaved for almost 6 months, and I’ve COMPLETELY lost the urge to pull. It may be that folks just need to give themselves some time to get over it.
I have 1 more chemo treatment. When I’m done, I’m confident that my hair will grow back thick and that I won’t feel the urge to pull anymore.
Hang in there, all…
LeslieJ – Wow thank you so much for the positive comment. I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner – and I hope your chemo went ok (or is still going ok). Thank you for sharing this positive message about shaving your head!
I’m male and started pulling my hair out at 11 or 12. After a few years of bald patches, I settled down enough so people wouldn’t notice if they weren’t looking for it. Still, I figured as a guy I had a free pass at trying a shaved-head look so right before college I did. It was more difficult than you think it will be to do it (get a friend to help unless you have a great mirror setup to see the back of your head). Also, it looked bad. Worse than I thought it would, even though I wasn’t expecting to be a matinee idol. The look was distinctly less “military” and more “chemotherapy.” A buzz instead of a complete shave might fix that problem but that’s even harder to maintain and you’d be surprised how short of a hair you can pull out.
I find the thing that helps me most is to maintain a short haircut. Partly because longer hair feels more uncomfortable or more alien to me so I am more likely to pull it out. But also partly because, practically, it is harder to conceal bald spots when you have short hair. If you start developing them, you are going to notice and you can be sure everyone else will too. So you have more incentive to check yourself pulling, and it’s more apparent when you need to check yourself. And, while men’s-length hair on women can be striking (I personally rather like it), it’s far less radical than the chemo look. I’d recommend starting there – but try to go light on pulling for a couple weeks before you do, so you don’t discover bald spots when you cut it.
Loren – Thanks so much for sharing your experience with head shaving. I kind of imagine doing it to the very short level, but it’s too hard for me right now – my hair is so long and I’m attached to it! But like you said, there’s always the risk of even pulling those tiny hairs. Thanks so much for this pratical advice!
Just do it. Shave your damn head already.
I had awesome, beautiful, thick, chestnut-brown curly hair. Unfortunately I’d destroyed it in the back with pulling for over a year. Three says ago I took the plunge and buzz-cut my hair.
It’s incredibly freeing. It really is. Yeah, I look like a Buddhist mink, or maybe a military research center escapee, but If people ask why my hair is short, I show them the bald patches where hair is just starting to grow in and tell them. “I pull out my own hair. It’s related to OCD and Tourrette’s. I couldn’t sop, so I shaved my head to force myself to stop”
Generally the response has been positive. People aren’t assholes- if you give them a reasonable answer, their reaction is usually “wow, I could never do that if I had that problem. I’m glad you’re taking control of the situation.”
Seriously, just do it already. In the end the only person you have to answer to is you.
Jillian – Wow I really admire your attitude! I’d be so scared to tell things like that to people. Even though I know I should, because then the condition would become better known and understood, and we wouldn’t have to be ashamed.
ugh i think about this all the time. i know id never do it but sometimes i wish i had some excuse, like chemo or something. the only problem is when i pull all the hairs out in this certain spot, then i scratch and pick the skin there too until i have a wound, and so even if i was bald im still scared i would scratch and pick at the skin. and the second the hair was visible id pull it out. ugh. so frusterated. i feel like whenever i am reseaching trich i am always sitting at my computer pulling, its so redic.
Chris – Try not to ever wish you had an excuse like chemo. I know that trich is hard, but look at the positives. Just remember that pulling doesn’t change who you are it won’t ultimately damage our health. Good luck!
yes ofcourse i love to shave it i feel starting a new day, i always wished to shave my head,becouse i think somthing new in our life can play an important roll in preventing from this disorder thing….but i can not do this becouse i cant be out of reach for about 3 or 4 months untill my hair grows,and when it grows the pulled hair will not grow while the otheres that are healthy.what do you think?????
hi is there some one to share my feelings about my hair pulling,im shamed
I’ve recently thought that shaving my head would help and I could just wear a wig to school or a awhile but my dad is against it. Every time I ask him to shave my head he just gets slightly angry and says ‘no’. He doesn’t even have a good reason for saying ‘no’. My hair pulling has been going on for a year and two months, not as long as some people I’ve read about, but its been a year and two months to long. I am so ashamed in myself, I just hae this one spot on back of my head, just one spot. Its over half the size of my palm and its just angers me every time I look at it. Sometimes I can stop pulling for a week or two but just one moment of weakness pulls me over the edge. EVERY TIME. I think that having not hair might help me but my dad will not have it. I’m only fifteen and can’t really do anyting about it.
Tori – That’s such a shame that your dad doesn’t understand. I guess he is trying to do the best for you, but just doesn’t realise that hair isn’t really that important. Unfortunately people think we shouldn’t have shaved heads. But whatever you do, just remember you’re not weird for pulling your hair, it doesn’t change who you are.
I don’t use to see bald womens in my country (Argentina), but you know what? every bald woman that i saw, it’s one of the most beautifull things i saw in my life, i love that kind of womens, i think they give to you a diferent message, a diferent point of view and that’s it’s wonderfull.
yes, i would be in love and i would get married with a bald woman and you know why?
BECAUSE THEY’RE DIFFERENT.
if you are reading this and you’re thinking to shave your head, go ahead, with no doubts and… (call me, pretty girl, i’m single
thanks for the space, i freed myself for a while
sorry if my english is bad
So I am 24 years old and this marks the 10th year that I have had Trich. I decided last night that I am shaving my head today. I don’t know if it will work or not but I refuse to go through the rest of my life like this so I am taking control. I promise to come back here and post my results. Wish me luck!