POSTED BY: mspennylane
This can also be found at Marmalade Skies, my personal blog.
Sorting through things in my room (still unpacking from finishing university in June!) I came across an old photo. It is one of those photos that gets taken on rides at a theme park. In this case I was on the long flume and the wind was blowing my hair back.
All I can see is half my hair really short basically standing on top of my head and the rest of it long like a normal 12 year old would have it. It just looks horrible. It is painful to see it in photos. I can remember, but seeing it like that is something different.
I have heard of many people using photos like this to stop themselves; they tell themselves they are never going to go back there. Maybe it helps, I certainly don’t want to look like that again. Though I never ever would. No, now I would be more ashamed and hide my hair in every way possible. For some reason, at the time that photograph was taken I didn’t seem to realise what I looked like.
I have been pulling a lot. Many short hairs. But I definitely don’t want to be go through that again.
Keeping that picture readily available in a place where you can see it often might be a good thing.
I know that keeping a pic of myself of when I was in the absolute best shape of my life helps keep me from letting my weight get too out of control.
Something visual that you can look at from outside yourself can be pretty powerful!
I can understand the photo thing – If I ever see a photo of myself between the ages of 8 and a half and 16 i want to tear them up. I hate the look of having half a head of hair i hate looking at those photos even with how I tried to cover it up – at the time I thought I was doing a good job of doing so – now I actually see that I wasn’t at all. That started 16 years ago. now it has got to the point where I have to wear a wig – although when I do tell people they are shocked – apart from those very few that I have allowed to get in touching distance. My head has practically no hair and i use tweezers to pluck what is – and at the age of nearly 24 I have white hairs coming through. This is the 1st time I have ever spoken about this so freely. My pulling unfortunately does not stop on the head it extends to any where possible. I just wish there was a way to stop this and I want to have photos I can look back on in my life with my own hair and not be ashamed.