I don’t know about you, but whenever I talk to someone else who pulls hair out, I feel as if I instantly have this connection with them. I’m not trying to be cheesy or emotional, but this is something that I genuinely feel.
Most recently, I have been connecting with more and more trichsters all the time through Twitter. If you want to connect with me on twitter, then please say hello at http://twitter.com/ontrich!
Even though the people I talk to come from a whole variety of backgrounds, I just feel that on some deep level we have a mutual understanding. There is no judgement there, it’s ok to tell eachother things about our trich that would be considered deep secrets should we be telling others – even our close friends in real life (for some of us, including me).
This is why I think it’s so important to reach out to the trichster community. If you pull out hair then the range of emotions you can feel is huge. I admit that I don’t always feel exactly the same as other trichsters that I’ve spoken to – we are all different – but I do understand and have similar feelings.
That really is why I love connecting with trichsters so much. It’s why writing this blog is so worthwhile for me, and why I am enjoying my new ontrich twitter account!
How do you feel when you talk to other trichsters?
My name's Penny, and I started OnTrich (a trichotillomania blog) to try and raise awareness about hair pulling, and also as a way to help me deal with my own pulling. I'm a 22 year old girl from the UK and I've been pulling for 12 years. Get in touch if you want to chat or need any help - I love meeting people here.
To be quite honest, I thought I was the only one. I was flipping through channels tonight and found an episode of A&E’s “Obsessed” and it featured a woman with trichotillomania. I recorded the later episode so my husband wouldn’t see and I just finished watching it. I had no idea. I’ve been doing this since I was 13 or 14. It was more severe back then. I couldn’t tell my mother why I was practically bald, so she took me to specialist after specialist until they decided it was a thyroid disease.
…okay, I’m rambling. You seem very open, so it seems as though your family and friends know. My question is how did you tell them or did they just see there was something wrong (is that the right word)? I want to seek help and support, because I don’t want it to go that far again.
I just wanted to apologise for getting back to you so late. I’ve not been replying to my comments lately. The truth is that I don’t talk to my friends and family about it. My blog is my outlet, where I can be open but also anonymously. My parents know in that they see me doing it, but they don’t know much about it. I’ve only ever told one friend – that was because I was drunk, and I still can’t talk to him about it now. The only one I really talk to is my boyfriend. The only advice I can give is that being able to blog about it has helped me so much.
~Penny
Only another puller can understand the strange compulsion…and will not ask “can’t you just stop?”
I only speak to others online about this on any regular basis. Sometimes reading about pulling will trigger my desire to pull though, so I have to be careful.
My pulling was a big secret for years…I had a lot of hair, thick and wavy and long, and received complements. I could hide my little spots here and there and no one knew.
However, my mom noticed and a year or so later my fiance asked me, about a spot on my crown which, while small had grown enough to be noticed when my hair fell a certain way…
I fessed up. It was a huge relief. My mom recalled seeing a spot when I was 13, but did not do anything back then (sigh? or denial? or what?).
However both she and my fiance were accepting and very cool about it. I could relax around them…and it made the pulling worse. Seriously, I have no idea if it is connected, but it was as if, once I was off guard and the secret was out, I stopped trying to not pull as hard. Was a test of unconditional love? A reaction of years of repression?
Keeping it a secret…and lying about it…might have been one thing stopping me from going overboard.
Of course, if you read through my comments tonight on this board, you will that I have other theories about why it gets bad over time as well.
In the end, it is all a perfect storm of fear, endorphin addiction, stress relief, a perverted sense of perfectionism (remove all imperfect strands!) and genetics. And too much sugar and glutamate (research N’acetylcysteine as a possible trich quitting aid if you haven’t already!).
In the end, this is a chemical problem…an ADDICTION> Telling my mom/fiance (and eventually my sisters and so forth) just allowed me to embrace it more.
As I realize it is chemical, I can fight it better.
This is a great site. I am glad I found it. Hope I am not writing too much!
“The Connection With Others Who Pull Hair Out”
I turned 22 years old in April and it was the greatest day of my life.
Here’s Why: In late November of 2008 I was doing some research on Trich. I decided to try youtube. Most of the videos just made me depressed and pull more unfortunately. This was until I found a young, pretty girl who had a few videos posted about life with trich. I felt like I had to get in touch with immediately because of my trich situation. I was in my senior year of college and trying to battle finals and daily trich, depression and anxiety issues. We ended up becoming facebook friends the next day, exchanged numbers and started to text each other all the time. She helped me through a really rough time I was going through at home. Nothing serious was going on but I was extremely depressed. She advised me to see a school councilor and tell my parents what is wrong with me. Doing both of these made me feel a little better. Come April, she was willing to take a very, very long train ride so we could meet, as she needed my friendship just as much. She was only able to stay for one day, my birthday, but for each of the 24 hours it felt like we were in a movie. We had an instant physical connection and the rest is history. We still keep in touch but live too far away from each other to have an exclusive relationship. We know that we have each other whenever we want, it’s just a call or text away. That’s a connection.
I had trichotillomania.
I used to hide the hair that i pulled out beside my chair. When my mum was hoovering, she found it. I didnt know what to do!
I told a white lie and said that i pulled out of the hairbrush. She, somehow, believed me. It is 3 months on and i have stopped it. by myself.
I am planning on confessing to her.
XoOx, Chloee