This is a question I ask myself from time to time – ‘why even bother trying to stop pulling my hair out?!’
I’m sure that if you’re reading this then you’ve probably also asked yourslef this question at some point. Even if it’s not ‘should I stop pulling my hair out?’ it could be any habit you have, an addiction, something about yourself that you don’t like… all of us have something that we struggle with and try to change for the better.
Should You Stop Trying?
If you have accepted who you are, and trichotillomania as a part of who you are, then you may find that you are able to stop trying to find a cure. Perhaps you don’t feel as self-conscious as you once did about having no eyebrows, or a bald patch on your scalp. Or perhaps you don’t pull enough for it to be too noticeable all the time. If this is the case for you, then you could stop trying.
I do believe that accepting trichotillomania as part of who you are is the most important part of me trying to stop pulling my hair out. Because, even if I fail to stop, I will never feel as bad as I used to in the past about my trichotillomania.
Sometimes trying to stop pulling might cause you more pain than the pulling itself. You might be constantly punishing yourself for any failures you make, always questioning what you do, and never giving yourself a break. If this is you, then stop trying and you might just come to accept yourself in the way you need.
If you try to stop pulling then it doesn’t mean that you will never stop. All it means is that you know how beautiful you are, and you have come to accept yourself – which is always a good thing.
How do you feel about the idea of not trying to look for ways to stop?
I have dealt with it for about 7 years and i know its a part of me no matter what, and even if i hate trich i stand here still having it not caring about it. Trich doesnt own me, use me, or scare me like it use to.i may hide it from people because most people cant see past the superficial. and i think that if we all just forgot about who we want to look like and looked at ourselves flaws and all and see that this is the way we are, and if we were meant to look any other way, we would have by now, but we’re not! We are perfectly imprefect the way we are! accept that you have whatever color eyes you have, what your nails look like unpolished, and that your weight not be where you want it to be.. but no matter what, with out those things.. you wouldnt be you.
Kyra, Thank you so much for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment! This is a beautiful comment, and it really made me smile to recieve it on my blog. You are absolutely right in everything you say, and I hope this attitude empowers you to be happy even with your trich. I feel the same as you – I accept trich as a part of me. I might not be ready to tell everyone in real life about it. But I am not ashamed of it either. Thank you again
I think accepting trich as a part of who you are is both a good and a bad thing. Accepting that you have the problem is good, and may or may not help you pull less, because you are now openly aware that you have a condition. It is dangerous, however, because now that you have accepted the fact that you have trich you may pull more with the mind set of “Oh well, I can’t do anything about it. I have trich and there is no known cure.”
Accept it, yes. Let it define you, no.
I find that shortly after accepting I had trich, I pulled a little more because I became complacent in it and I worried more about who else would notice. Then I made the decision to be open and honest with people who noticed and asked about why I was pulling my hair. That decision was one of the best I ever made. Pulling, often times, is induced by anxiety and stress, and for me at least, a lot of that stress and anxiety was from the fact that I was working so hard to keep my trich quiet and fearing that some one would notice the bald spots on my head. Once I became open about it, to my close friends first, it was a little better. Once they knew about it they where supportive and eventually I would ask them to gently pull my hand away from my head if they saw me reach up (most times I don’t know when I’m pulling).
When my trich was at its worst, I wore my hair up in a bun every day to hide it, and even then my hair was very thin and it was hard to brush the hair just right. 10 years later I still have it, but it’s not as bad as it once was. I still have bald spots, but I wear my hair down, and I try not to let it bother me if they show. Sure, sometimes I have days where it does bother me, but most days I try to ignore that. If people notice, it is a GOOD thing. Who knows how many people out there will notice and thing, “Oh my gosh, I have bald spots too. She must pull out here hair like me. I am not alone!” or “I see her pulling her hair…my kid does that..”
In any event, it has the potential to get the ball rolling and get people informed that they are not alone, they are not a freak, and that there are tons more people out there who have trich. A lot of people have this, and many of them don’t even know what it is.
This is a good blog, btw. It’s good to see a trich blog out there on the web. Do you mind if I share the link with my fb group? I operate a trich support group on fb.
Sorry I did not reply to this yesterday. It was great to login and see your comment there. I completely understand what you mean. I would say never give up and let it defeat you, but you can live alongside it and still be you without just being ‘someone who pulls out their hair’.
I admire the fact you decided to be more open about your trich – it’s something I can’t do. I talk about it to my boyfriend, and have told one friend, but that is it. I have thinning hair but I don’t think it’s noticeable to anyone but me – though they must notice my ‘habit’ of constantly touching my hair all the time! I absolutely love the fact that by being open about it you hope to help others. That’s the problem about this – it’s so secretive.
Asking people to pull your hand away is a great bit of advice! My boyfriend does it – it’s a lot gentler than them saying ‘don’t pull’ etc and can jump your mind back into reality if you’re in a trance.
I was wondering if anyone else had this feeling too. When i think of stopping i get kinda scared, life without trich. Because im so used to the feeling of relief and pleasure i get when i pull, i think i cant live without it and life might be harder than it is now.
Sometimes i think that i’ll always have trich me with for the rest of my life, and will have to learn to live with it, and live with it peacefully.
I see what you mean about being worried what it would be like to truly every stop pulling. I think it is hard to imagine, because pulling is such a big part of our lives. I do think that’s it’s important to live with trich as peacefully as you can. In my mind that doesn’t mean giving up the struggle against pulling, but it does mean realising it isn’t the end of the world and it doesn’t control your life.
It depends on how you manage to take good care of your hair. There are numerous effects that lead to baldness when too much use of shampoo. Try to have healthy lifestyle like regular exercise, balance diet, drink plenty of water and scalp massage daily during bathing.
Mizzy´s last [type] ..thinning hair in women