I am a Lady Gaga fan and recently hear her new song “Hair”. Although I understand the meaning behind it, I wanted to post about this and an opposing song with lyrics that I think we can all relate to.
Here’s Lady Gaga’s new song:
As you can hear, she says “I am my hair”. As trich sufferers, this is definitely something we need to get over thinking. Now obviously Lady Gaga means something different with these lyrics, and she isn’t attacking people who might me bald or pull out their hair, but at the same time I want to post an opposing view from India Arie:
The lyrics (which I think I may have posted before, but they are worth posting again):
[Talking:]
Is that India.Arie? What happened to her hair? Ha ha ha ha ha
Dat dad a dat da [4x] Dad a ooh
[Verse 1]
Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
At fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen and went all natural
February two thousand and two
I went and did
What I had to do
Because it was time to change my life
To become the women that I am inside
Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone
I looked in the mirror
For the first time and saw that HEY….
[Chorus]
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I ma not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
[Talking:]
What’d she do to her hair? I don’t know it look crazy
I like it. I might do that.
Umm I wouldn’t go that far. I know .. ha ha ha ha
[Verse 2]
Good hair means curls and waves
Bad hair means you look like a slave
At the turn of the century
Its time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off
Like a South African beauty
Or get in on lock
Like Bob Marley
You can rock it straight
Like Oprah Winfrey
If its not what’s on your head
Its what’s underneath and say HEY….
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
I am expressing my creativity..
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
[Verse 3]
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY…
[Chorus 2x]
[Ad lib]
If I wanna shave it close
Or if I wanna rock locks
That don’t take a bit away
From the soul that I got
Dat da da dat da [4x]
If I wanna wear it braided
All down my back
I don’t see what wrong with that
Dat da da dat da [4x]
[Talking:]
Is that India.Arie?
Ooh look she cut her hair!
I like that, its kinda PHAT
I don’t know if I could do it.
But it looks sharp, it looks nice on her
She got a nice shaped head
She got an apple head
I know right?
It’s perfect.
What do you think of both of these songs about hair?
hi every one i liked the song but i dont think that its related to people who pull hair,…any way thanks
Great post. I never thought of it that way. I have to agree I don’t think Lady Gaga is talking about trich suffers. She doesn’t seem to be attacking people at all. She stated that the song is about when she was younger and changed her hair and her parents would get angry. The India Arie song is a great opposing view. I hope you don’t if I post that song on my blog too.
Very interesting
Good job!
Gianna
I love the India Arie song; I understand that it’s not specifically about trich, but the message is the same. I am not my hair. I’m a beautiful, blue-eyed, 17 year old girl, and i pull my hair out. I have bald patches. I get made fun of for having such short hair. But you know what? I’ve learned to have the confidence to pull through all that. There’s another girl with trich that goes to my school, and shes a few years younger than me. She hasn’t fully dealt with it yet, but i’ve been talking to her and trying to help her realize that as girls, as human beings, we can’t be defined by one thing. Beauty isnt defined by one thing. Beyond the hair, we trichsters can be absolutely gorgeous and amazing. Period.
-Jessica Oplinger, 17, El Paso, TX-
wow.. very interesting indeed.. I had no idea either of these songs existed!
I actually have the opposite feeling about Gaga’s song. To me, my hair has always been an expression of my identity. I feel prettier with long hair. I just do. I like it. I feel cuter, more confident, and trich has been devastating to me because I feel like it stops me from expressing myself the way I want to. Beauty isn’t “defined” by having long, thick, gorgeous hair, but the main thing is how you FEEL. And for some people, yeh, cutting off all their hair or shaving it makes them feel more free. But that’s not me. I’d be miserable and punishing myself if I did.
So for me, Gaga’s sentiment, “I’ve had enough, and this is my prayer, I swear, I’m as free as my hair”, really sums up how I feel. I’ve had enough of being restricted by my disorder. I’ve had enough of not being able to really express myself in this way. “I’m as free as my hair” means to me that the day I’m free from pulling it out… is the day I’ll really be free to be myself again… It’s an amazing song of hope, for me =)
Shelley thank you for your reply. I am also a Lady Gaga fan but I hadn’t thought of the song as in relation to my hair pulling. To be honest, even though I’m 29 and have been pulling since age 11, I’ve spent more time than not in denial that I even have a problem. Trying to rationalize it, you know: well, the hair felt or looked wrong, it just HAD to come out…and most of the ones next to it…stuff like that. Hiding my missing eyelashes with eyeliner and long bangs. Not telling anyone about it other than vague references with my sisters (who also have the same problem, but we’re all too ashamed to come out directly about it).
When I was very young I was frequently complimented on my hair that was so long I could sit on it, and my beautiful long eyelashes. It started to annoy me, because after all I hadn’t done anything to earn it…I was just, as Gaga would say, born this way.
Sometimes I wonder if all those compliments didn’t somehow spur me on to just start pulling all that damn hair out and get the attention off of me. My parents were unkind and I was a “nerd” in school, and I hated when people looked at me. It was almost like I didn’t deserve to have such beautiful hair, such compliments. Even to this day, I can only grow my hair out for so long (maybe shoulder length) because I inevitably suffer a really bad day where I chop off several inches of hair. It feels like a rebellion, a compulsion that I can freely follow through with yet inevitably regret. I never get it fixed up at a barber; it’s mine to control, nobody else’s.
And the same feeling holds true for my missing eyelashes. Denial, denial, or another New Year’s resolution I’ll fail within a few months. Saying this’ll be the last time but I know it won’t. Reaching for the tweezers like my hand has a mind of its own, and my inner voice meekly protesting “stop, you don’t have to do this” is drowned out by the desire to feel that little rush of pain and pleasure from targeting certain eyelashes, examining them, seeing how many more I can get away with pulling.
My self-esteem is so low that I avoid eye contact with people, and even more so when I’m missing a large chunk of eyelashes. I don’t want them to get too close, or stare too long, and discover my freakishness (which it’s not, as I’m learning thanks to blogs like this one). Honestly I think that it’s subconsciously just a convenient excuse to keep people away, even my darling boyfriend, because after all nobody could really think I’m beautiful or worthwhile right? Nobody could want to stare for too long.
You know, I’ve never talked about this before, and I’m aware that I’ve veered severely off topic from your comment about Lady Gaga. I’m sorry for that.
Sitting here and admitting all this, even just online to people I’ve never met, has me slightly trembling and fighting tears. I can feel my stomach clenching up. I’ve spent so long hiding this disorder from my family, my boyfriends over the years, and now my daughter (whom I’ve seen pulling at her eyelashes lately)…I just feel like I need to take control by being open and honest and putting in a genuine effort to stop, being more aware of urges, keeping the tweezers out of the bathroom, and fighting hard to keep my hand away from my face…without beating myself up for failure like I have in the past.
So this song is also a “song of hope” for me. I wish you the absolute best and I believe you can do it.
Thank you for inspiring me to finally talk about my problem.
Same meaning, different songs