I don’t know about you, but I think trichotillomania is a kind of horrible word. I’ve gotten used to it, but when I really think about it, it’s not nice at all!
How Do I Say It?
The word trichotillomania sticks out in my mind because it’s so long. I first heard it when I was about 15 (after I’d been pulling for 5 years) but I had no idea how to sell it. I pronounced (in my head only, I never said it out loud) the trich part more like tritch rather than how it’s meant to be pronounced – trick! It has taken me a while, but I now know how to pronounce it properly.
Am I Mad?!
Pronunciation is one thing, but the word ‘mania’ at the end of the word is what most people have a problem with. Mania sounds like crazy, mad, abnormal. And so many of us already think we are mad! We don’t need a word to reinforce this thought! I’m here to tell everyone that we are not mad and this is why mania doesn’t sit well we me, or a number of other trichsters (trichster being the word of choice over trichotillomaniac!).
I don’t mind thinking of the word ‘trichotillomania’ but I hate saying it! I just won’t really say it aloud, to anyone, ever.
How does this one word make you feel? Why does it conjure up such strong emotions?
Hey! I found your blog through your Twitter account.
I had a long comment typed up, but then I looked down and comment luv had messed up, and it said “click here for info” and then I did, and it went right to your front page and killed my comment. So I will try typing it all up again.
I’ve always thought that it is said like TRICK-Till-OH-MAY-NEE-uh. But On closer inspection there is that first O….So, uhh… TRY-KOH-TILL-OH-MAY-NEE-UH? That is a lot of syllables. But either way, I don’t think it’s a very difficult word. You just look at each consonant and vowel sound and put it together. But then, I am an English buff…
I have had Trichotillomania since the 3rd grade. I just started pulling the hairs on my head one day when I was alone on the bus. Eventually I got a bald spot from it, and other kids noticed. I was so embarassed that I started doing it in other, more hidden places- my armpits, my arms, my legs, my knees, my groin area, etc.
For me, the pulling was a combination of different factors. I think it was the compulsion, my depression, and my own body dysmorphism. I have always had problems with my body, whether it is my race, my hair, my weight, my gender, and (i’ll admit it) my size. I have also had chronic eczema my whole life, and so when I scratched, the pulling was a natural extension of the stress building and then release. I remember having sessions of pulling, when I would sit on the toilet and just pull and pull compulsively.
I don’t really know how it happened, but eventually the Trich just tapered off over time. I just stopped feeling the need to pull, although it does happen every once in a blue moon, but on a smaller scale. I believe strongly that a lot of it had to do with how I felt about my body. I had this strong compulsion that I had to be “clean”, that I just couldn’t have any hairs on my body. This was especially true for my armpits and down there.
I am not quite sure what I wanted to say with this. But you are definitely not alone!
.-= Chungyen Chang´s last blog ..in-betweeners =-.
Sorry I took so long to reply – thanks for this wonderful comment. I do believe there is a strong link to trich and the way we feel about ourselves, whether our body or emotionally. I am glad you managed to stop. I have heard the same thing from many people, that they just stop and pull less without really realising. probably because some sort of thought pattern has just changed. It happened to me to a large degree. I pulled one of my eyebrows bald, and for some reason just stopped and only concentrated on the head. So I’m glad to hear that trich isn’t so much of a problem for you now, and I hope that the other images of your body also got a little better. Thanks for sharing your story
What i don’t like about the word is the ‘o-till-o’ bit, what does it even mean?
Also the mania bit. From first hearing it, it sounds as if there’s something mentally wrong with us, which may be the case with the brain and chemicals and all, but the sound of mania, it’s just got connotations of being crazy, insane, you know. All the bad stuff, nothing sounds good or nice about it.
Plus it’s just so long, and nothing relates to the actual disorder. It just screams explanation if we ever say it to someone, and that’s just a bit long to explain it. I’d rather just say google it.
I agree with you. And I just don’t like saying it. It’s weird that I don’t mind writing it though! I guess because I’ve already written it on this blog a million times lol.