I know that trichsters will understand what I’m talking about when I say that sometimes you just don’t care about pulling. This means that I know I’m pulling, I even know that it can have unwanted effects on appearance or concentration, yet I don’t care so just carry on doing it.
This is how I’ve been feeling, probably for the last month or so. It’s really annoying me, especially because I have to hoover the flat to make sure these hairballs aren’t around whenever someone visits.
I told my boyfriend about how I was feeling, and I think it helped a little. Maybe it made me a bit more accountable for my pulling? I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me off for pulling or anything, but maybe now I’ll feel like he’s ‘keeping an eye on me’.
Is there anything you do to break the cycle when you just give up caring about whether you’re pulling or not?
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My name's Penny, and I started OnTrich (a trichotillomania blog) to try and raise awareness about hair pulling, and also as a way to help me deal with my own pulling. I'm a 23 year old girl from the UK and I've been pulling for 13 years. Get in touch if you want to chat or need any help - I love meeting people here.
I started pulling at the age of 7. I am now 34 and I still do it. I have read on sites that its a form of mild self mutilation. At the age of 31 I was drinking and telling my mother how I had been raped, and out of nowhere I told her it wasnt as bad as how it was when my sister made me touch her. It was then that I realized that at the age my sister started making me touch her was the same time i started pulling my eyelashes out. I have to draw my eyebrows on because i cant control and i really dont care cuz i can draw them on, but i have to fight everyday to keep my fingers away from my eyes. i have no advice because at the moment i am almost eyelashless. I feel like its nothing more then a distraction from whats really bugging you, and the concentration it takes to actually get the hair becomes a safe zone. you forget everything and zone in on that individual, lol i like to call it, nuiscance.
I can completely relate to you on this post. I was just doing that for about 25 minutes until I started typing to reply to you. I know I am really stressed about a lot of things in life. I am a 21 year old college student, with a steady job, (looking for another extra job), i have a great family, but my boyfriend and i are always having our good and bad days.
I started “picking” not pulling, my split ends when I was a sophomore in high school, this continued until about 2 years ago. Now I just pull it out. Usually around the crown of my head, I have straight hair & if I feel a thick or curly piece it literally drives me insane until I pull it out. I know I do it, and I really don’t care as bad as I know it is for my scalp and my hair. My family, friends and boyfriend always get mad a me when they see me picking at it, then I will stop for about 5 seconds and i have to do it again. It goes on daily and i feel like 1000 times a day. I go to therapy once a week, and we just started discussing it, but I really dont think she thinks its as bad as it is. WHYYYYY is this happening and why can’t i just stop? It makes me so upset, I hate looking down and having to pick up the clumps of hair on the floor at home or at my boyfriends… it is so embarassing.
Thats exactly what I do, finding an imperfect hair, too thick, longer than the rest, curlier than the oter strands, or one with split ends. I wonder why it is that we do after the thicker strands?…..
I love to read stories related to me because then I know I’m not alone. I’ve been pulling my hair out for a while now. I do it when I’m nervous and when i’m in bed. It doesn’t bother me when I’m alone but yet when I’m getting ready for school I am so self consious. I have beautiful long dark brown hair that used to be thick and it makes me soooo depressed!!!! How do I stop!???? Please
Mia – I also do it when I’m bored, or when I’m doing things like reading. The best advice I could give would be just to keep your hands busy. I also have long hair that is a lot thinner than it used to be. It’s frustrating, but I’m thankful for the fact that I do at least still have long hair. The best thing I did for myself and my hair pulling was to write about it here – it helped get my feelings out.
Mia, I at times have put my hair in a bun, slicked back with gel, this somewhat helps me. Also try sitting on your hands,put them under your quads.
Chantel – I agree, hairstyles like this really help me too.
O yeah, also try and keep your self around friends. It helps me.
Wow…this is so refreshing to see/read. I have never admitted that I have this..only to myselft of course. I can’t stop and its getting worse. I pulled really bad starting 6th grade. Then from about 15-20 I had no hair pulling issues at all..I don’t know how I quit for those years..I wish I did. It slowly started again around 21/22…the last 2 years have been terrible. I just had my 28th bday and I feel like I am back where I started in 6th grade. Any advice…
Josie – I hope just admitting it in that comment has helped you a bit
It’s so hard to know what to do to stop, but just remember that if you did it before you can do it again, even if you can’t remember how. Just keep busy, keep your hands busy, and learn to accept that pulling is part of who you are but doesn’t need to define you. Good luck!