I have been a little slow to reply to my comments lately and am just going through them now. But I noticed a particularly inspiring one from Maddison which I wanted to draw your attention to:
I have a similar problem where I pick at my skin. I had a teacher tell me that your mind learns from repetition and telling yourself that you can do something can make it happen. I kept a journal or a log I didn’t write in it everyday but I wrote when I felt like picking, or after I had picked. It’s not just telling yourself that you can do it but you also have to believe it. Something that worked for me was looking at myself in the mirror (where I usually pick at my face.) and said I CAN STOP PICKING MY FACE over and over and over. I did this every time I was feeling stressed out at home. I also would write down I CAN STOP PICKING MY FACE on a piece of paper or sometimes several pieces of paper, but you have to believe it. I would write my self notes all over the place saying I CAN STOP PICKING MY FACE. I surrounded my self with these messages to myself. I had to identify when, where, and why I picked. I kept a journal or a log I didn’t write in it everyday but I wrote when I felt like picking, or after I had picked or if I didn’t pick. I wrote notes and put them in everyday places like the inside of my door, on the dashboard of my car, in the shower (I laminated them), on my computer, on the refrigerator door, on the inside of my refrigerator door, I wrote it down in my daily planner on every single page. I put these notes around and it was a reminder that I could do this and I would remember not to pick. I would pick anywhere and everywhere, at school for example. I would go in to the bathroom stall and pull out my compact mirror but I had written a note on the inside saying that I CAN STOP PICKING MY FACE. These three things among other methods helped me stop picking. I would start with not picking for days at a time then weeks at a time and now I have not picked my face in a year! I am just letting you know that this doesn’t just happen over night you truly have to surround yourself in your goal/message. I have been picking my face among other things for as long as I can remember (like pulling my hair, biting my nails, picking scabs, etc.) But picking my face was the worst. It was easy for me to admit that I had these particular problems and I would say that I wanted to stop but the words didn’t mean anything to me it was me just going through the motions. One day I decided that it really was time for me to stop. Because I didn’t want to do this for the rest of my life. but when I told my self that I could stop picking my face I started to believe it. I got compliments and that was even more encouragement for me. I would recommend that you try this with any form of treatment you think will help or is already helping you.
All the best to you
MSPennyLane – thank you for reposting this. I have dabbled and “pretended” that I was going to do this, but often time I just say things and don’t believe me. It may be a cliche thing to say – but the mind is a powerful thing.
Abby Leora Rohrer made a book – why can’t I stop pulling – that I downloaded many many years ago. I printed it out and had it sit on my shelf for years upon years. I stopped reading it because it challenged me by saying something to the tune of:
You don’t want to stop pulling, you say you do, but deep down there is a part of you that likes pulling. Let’s face it you found a creative way of dealing with this crazy world.
For me to read that made me face the reality of pulling. I do like doing it, it feels great. I hate the consequences, the bald patches, the destroyed self esteem. She suggests after you pull, don’t hate yourself, say “good job you found a way to deal with your problems, but now lets find another solution” I have not done what she suggests, but I feel it falls in line with what Maddison is suggesting.
Funny thing is I don’t want to put signs everywhere that say “I can stop pulling” b/c then everyone knows I pull. So I guess the key is to write it on tweezers with black magic marker! Or I do it at work so maybe I can make an ical pop up reminder with “I C Stop P” every hour, so I would know what it means, but not everyone else.
All in all what I am getting at – you mind has to be made up, deep down in your mind and you have to stay committed. The more Yoga I do the less I pull as well exercise helps keep the mind focused on positive decisions for your body I feel.
Thank you for reposting her comment it is a simple strong thing that can make a difference to help train your brain.
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Let It Go – I definitely agree with that too – on a level I really don’t want to stop pulling. I am glad that you say yoga helps, this is something I am planning to do more of very soon. Also so happy to see you have a trich blog, always good to see more people blogging about it, and thanks for posting about this on your own blog too.
Hi,
I don’t have trich, but one of my best friends does. I have been looking up things in an effort to help her, but to be honest, I feel a little hopeless! We’re teenagers, and I can’t afford the type of cover-up things she needs. I so desperately want to help her, and I’m still going to get her make-up and such, but things like wigs and false-eyelashes–especially wigs!–are really out of my price range. It sounds stingy, but…all I can say is I’m still a teen.
Basically, what I wanted to ask was this: should I tell her I have been looking into this? Will she be offended, or upset? Should I tell her about what I’ve found? Should I suggest anything to her? I feel like she might be upset, or she’ll just say, “Oh, I already looked…it’s not going to work.” Would it be inappropriate for me to push her, or urge her to try again?
Also, while I’m here, does anyone have any recommendations as far as covering things up goes?
I’m really worried for her. I can see past it, but in all honesty, I don’t think that she looks bad it all. Still, I know that it has been getting worse and won’t stop because stress is such a constant factor in our lives. The only thing I can think of to help her is to help her cover it up. So please, any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
Hi Leira,
I’m new here – just found this site today. But when I read your message, I wanted to reply because I just had to thank you for being such a good friend! I have pulled since I was 9, and am 32 now, and when I first started pulling, I felt alone and completely isolated, and wanted desperately to have someone that could come alongside me and tell me that, even if they didn’t personally identify with my struggle, that at least I wasn’t some kind of freak. So please know that just by being a friend to her, you are helping her.
I think that even more than finding ways to help her cover up, what she really needs is someone to just listen to her and let her know she is accepted and cared about. Perhaps you can just tell her that you have been trying to learn more about trich because you want to help her in whatever way you can, and you can spend a little time researching trich together, whether it is cover-up methods or ways of dealing with the pulling or whatever. I’ll put it to you this way: I have a few very close friends I’ve told about my trich, and of all of them, I don’t think anyone has asked me much about it or tried to learn much about it, and I think part of that may be because they are afraid of offending me. But to me, the very act of avoiding the topic makes me feel even more isolated, because these are my friends, and yet they don’t care enough to get to know that part of me – a part of me that has had a huge emotional impact on my life. Obviously I don’t know your friend, so I can’t say if she would react the same way, but I think it’s probably safe to say that having supportive and caring friends to help deal with the emotional side of pulling is more helpful and healing than dealing with the “practical” side of it (meaning the wigs, make-up and such that we use to camouflage our bald spots). We can have the best wig that money can buy, and it can make us look great, but it won’t help us feel any less alone!
Sorry to write such a long reply! I hope all goes well with you and your friend. Thanks again for being a great, supportive friend!
Very good article for treating Trich. Eventually it is one’s self control that wins it! I have been trying to leave
Hey!
I’ve had trich since 5th grade (now going into 11), and I want to re-enforce the idea that you CAN defeat this! I used to have MAJOR pulling issues through my scalp, lashes, and eyebrows (like 1/3 of my scalp hair was gone, I only had 1/2 my lashes, and pencil thin eyebrows). Last January, I told myself I WOULD STOP PULLING. COMPLETELY. I made it for the next 100 or so days completely pullfree (I think wearing hats majorly helped this). Then I began to slip. But never, in the past 1.5years, have I pulled a single hair from my scalp. Also, I’m proud to say that my eyebrows are natural, and I don’t pull from them anymore either. You CAN do this!
You can do it – it just takes some practice and patiences – crossing my fingers for you/
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